Posts tagged ‘videogames’

November 11, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Ep. 20 – BROstalgic Reminiscing

You are a cultured and sophisticated individual. You work hard at that 9 to 5 and you completely CRUSH IT! You work-out selflessly, just wanting to make sure other people get to enjoy the view. You use yelp and don’t consider yourself a food critic. You are wise enough to reboot your airport card before you flip out about the wifi. You are an adult! 

 

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That doesn’t mean you don’t have an inner man-child that perks up whenever you hear “after these messages, we’ll be right back.” Don’t worry, you’ve earned your place in history.You are just tougher than the average (G.I.) joe having survived multiple bouts of street combat and/or dysentery. You’ve been entrusted with many important relics, and you always power-up responsibly.

 

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You’ve scaled castles to save a princess from a turtle, and scaled apartment buildings to save a reporter as a turtle. You know who to call when there something strange happening in your neighborhood, and it wouldn’t surprise you in the least if they send over a bad ass girl to save the day. So, if you are about that 1-up life, follow me bro, and take a brostalgic trip down memory lane.

 

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Come with me and you’ll be
In a world with a set duration
Take a look and you’ll see
Fungi augmentations!

We’ll begin with a spin
Trav’ling in 8-bit permutations
The castle we’ll see will need
Restorations!

If you want to view paradise
Side-scroll around and view it
If you want to platform, do it
Want to touch that flag, just sprint-jump to it…

 

*This week’s BBYK has BRAHsome image markers embedded in the podcast. To view them while listening, visit our iTunes link and click on where the imgres-1 symbol is in your iTunes media player:

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Mudafu Ken joins the Bro-est Bros you know, to talk about Keanu Reeves and the importance of Math on the 20th episode of BBYK! The Bros discuss some of the bro-est video games from their childhood and why quarters are now obsolete without arcades.

 

 

You can follow us on twitter @broestbros

Press the Start button if you are itching to play some retro games now!

Special shout out to Matt Alexander for coming on the show and sharing his extensive retro gaming knowledge and musical talents. BBYK would also like to express our utmost admiration and appreciation for the troops. The heroes we talk about often wear capes, but the real heroes wear dog tags.

Happy Veteran’s Day

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November 4, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 13: Hadouken II (The Legend of Ryu and Ken’s Bromance)

Fact – Ryu and Ken’s relationship is based almost completely on my friendship with Klar.

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While Mario and Luigi were the original video-gaming bros, it was Ryu and Ken that had video-gaming’s first true bromance. Way before Jersey Shore, these guys were repping the Original “G/T/L”  –  Gi/train/leg-kicks! These guys were always working out and sparring with each other. They trained so much together, in fact, that they literally have the same moves… tornado kicks, dragon punches, and their famous down-forward-punch fireball! They both could do that… and I guess mutha-freakin’ Dhalsim and his “yoga-fire” and “yoga-flame.” More like yoga-same move you dummy. Hey Dhalsim, why don’t you yoga-shutdahellup!

Ken even says all of his moves in Japanese just like Ryu. Ken, bro, did you notice the other American in the tournament proudly says all of his moves in English? Guile actually called him out on this:

Guile: Brah, did you forget what freedom sounded like?

Ken: No!

Guile: Must be hard to hear over those girlish golden locks.

Ken: …

Guile: (Sonic) Boom Roasted! (Combs hair and flexes)

 

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Yes, when it comes to the BFF hall of fame, Ken and Ryu may be among the most distinguished honorees. It took twice as much bronze to properly craft theirs busts. Bros and gamers alike, we salute you, Ken and Ryu. Surely your bromance is the gold standard the rest of us can only hope to achieve.

As awesome as Ken and Ryu’s story is, it is actually based on another bromance. The story goes like this… Capcom executives were running out of ideas to sell Street Fighter II. They had a board meeting that went something like:

Capcom executive one: How are we going to sell SFII? We don’t really have any precedent for successful fighting games like this.

Capcom executive two: Maybe we should have stuck with the formula of the first one.

Capcom executive three: Yeah… creative really got lazy with this game. We have an African American boxer named “M. Bison.” And, do we really have a character that got his powers from wrestling electric eels?

Capcom executive one: Plus Dhalsim sucks. We need to yoga-fire whoever came up with him.

Everyone: *le sigh… muthafreakin’ Dhalsim

Capcom executive two: Why don’t we use that time traveling machine we built to work on Project Viewtiful Joe?

Capcom executive one: Brilliant, Number 2! We can travel into the future and get inspiration for our game. That way in the future they won’t think we stole any ideas; they will think we inspired them!

Capcom executive three: That is just like this script I have been writing for my screenplay, Inception, where people in the future plant ideas in someone else’s mind while they…

Everyone: Shut up about your stupid script, Number 3!

They decided the best inspiration would come from a great academic institution in the future. So a group of Capcom executives traveled into the distant future, the year 2004, and headed to the greatest school that is… the University of Design. There was a social gathering for orientation week at a campus hot spot called the “Rathskellar.” They walked in and saw an Asian bro sitting at one of the tables, eating his post-workout meal.

 

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A brah walked in and sat down at the same table. The Asian bro asked if the brah had keys to get into a secured building called “Madonna.” The brah leapt to his feet and flipped the table over.

 

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Brah: One does not simply gain passage into Madonna. It must be earned through the crucible of fire!

Asian Bro: Ah Snapsel-Cakes!?

The Asian bro was upset that his rice bowl had been knocked over. He decided to insult this brah by calling him Ken, because Bens tend to suck,9617-honda2(Benjamin Glutton #amirite) and it rhymed. Asian bro just really appreciates a good rhyme.

 

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Asian Bro: Hey Ken, you spilled my rice, prepare to die.

Brah: Why you stupi…

Asian Bro: Did you call me Ryu?! As in Ryu Hayabusa the Ninja from the land of Gaiden?

Brah: No… I said why you…

Asian Bro: You totally did again! You said “Ryu.” Your insults are as bad as your hairstyle! ShadaBOO-YAH!

They prepared for their showdown. First they stopped by the Airport to purchase tickets all around the world. They created a chart to track all the different locations their epic fight might take them. They were going to go on a lethal adventure!

 

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Inspired by Lonely Islands’ “I’m on a Boat,” they decided to square off at the docks. Looking over at the boats, Ryu thought to himself that maybe he would buy a yacht someday and sail with a BFF to Australia or something…

 

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Unbeknownst to Ken and Ryu, the Capcom executives 16-bit-tized them using their Project Viewtiful Joe machine.

 

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Random amped up music started to play in the background. They stood there, glaring at each other… daring their opponent to make a move. Ken, using his Masters in tornado kicking, struck first blood!

 

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Ryu quickly got on an airplane and flew to Brazil. He shot a fireball at Ken that Ken evaded. From there, their epic battle would span the planet. Words will never be able to do this battle justice, consider this a tribute to the SECOND GREATEST BATTLE IN THE WORLD!

 

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It was like anything Ry-U can do, I Ken do better. The battle viscously raged on for a very long time, both fighters consuming plenty of protein shakes to regenerate their life bars.

 

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It was a brilliant display of talent and skill. The stages and costume changes, this fight will be forever under-sold. As they fought they began to grow a mutual respect for each other. Ryu thought to himself that maybe he and Ken had a lot in common. After all, they were both wearing a sleeve-less Gi underneath their clothes during orientation week… it seemed quite bro-vidential.

Ryu: You are really good, perhaps when this is over, we might train together at the UD gym. *jab*

Ken: Maybe we might even be roommates…purely for training purposes of course. *high kick*

 

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Ryu: Yeah okay… I mean my roommate kind of sucks. Took my keys… that’s why I can’t get into the Madonna building. *block*

Ken: Dude… my roommate totally blows chunks too! *tornado kick*

Ryu: I wonder what else we have in common… what is your favorite movie? *block* *block* block*

Ken/Ryu: Rocky!

Ken: Wow! What about second favorite movie? *fireball*

Ken/Ryu: Braveheart!

Ryu: What is your favorite band? *duck*

Ken/Ryu: Linkin Park!

 

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Ryu: Shar-yu-KIDDING me! Everything you just said is my favorite thing! What do you like to eat when you are intoxicated at 12 AM? *dragon punch*

Ken: Tacos… What is your favorite sport? *stars spinning above head*

Ryu: Basketball! Who is the best big man to play in the NBA ever? *jumps forward*

Ken: David Robinson! *recovers*

 

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Suddenly, Ryu felt a surge of rage. It was like raw energy coursed through his veins. Ryu began to channel his inner Satsui no Hadō

 

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Ryu: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

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Ryu: KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!

 

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Ryu: OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJUWON! *shinku fireball*

 

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When the evil presense left his body, Ryu realized that the fight was over. After a long and pec-tacular battle, Ryu had defeated Ken. He won!

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He looked at his fallen opponent and felt almost remorseful. David Robinson was pretty flippin’ good. It’s not like Ken had said Karl Malone or something.  Even more importantly, no one had ever pushed Ryu to his limits like that before. Truly it was a battle between #warriorsthatareawesome. Ryu went over and helped Ken up.

 

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They went headed back to the Rathskellar at UD and decided to watch the rest of the orientation show together.

Ryu: Let’s go back to our original names.

Klar (pronounced like Claire): I agree, I hated even having a name that rhymed with Ben…

Me: I know right! They always suck.

Klar: Like Ben Rothlisberger… that guy sucks. He will never win a Superbowl or break a two game touchdown record or something like that.

Me: Totes!

So this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, and thanks for taking a minute and just sitting right there, reading about how I became best friends with Klar. Capcom used our story to go back and completely re-write Street Fighter II as a bromance between Ryu and Ken.

We are honored to have one of the greatest bromances based off of us. Did you know that originally, the game was going to feature Dhalsim… just kidding. Hey Dhalsim, you need to face the facts bro, it is a yoga-shame that you were in the yoga-game.

Klar/Ryu: Best friends forever!

Guile:  My theme song!

 

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A New Challenger Approaches…
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Fact – People that read Vivid Karet.com vote!

Go out and vote people, it is your democratic duty. If you haven’t already, check out all the different content we have up on VividKaret.com. You can follow me on twitter @facethefacts22. @klar21 and I will be doing another Bro-est Bros You Knows pretty soon, so keep an eye out for that. Until next time, when in doubt… Face The Facts! Go vote.

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October 24, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 10: Hadouken

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Fact – The word atari comes from the ancient Japanese game of Go and means “you are about to be engulfed.” The word was used by a player to inform his opponent that he is about to lose, similar to “check” in chess.

 

 

 

 

Face The Facts has finally reached the double digits! We are so excited, and there are so many people to thank. I would like to thank Zanahoria, my adorable wife, for always encouraging me with kind words like “wow, you really did learn to write in public school.” To my parents for always supporting me and telling me to focus on important things like not blogging. To Mr. Pharmacy (and the future Mrs. Pharmacy, the biggest of congratulations to you two!) for being that one person that would read FTF with the distinguished quality of not being a bot.98c14d054a4d304a229abe3226b08f8a

 

To Marchewka and Klar, who not only bring awesome content to VividKaret.com (Promotion Al) but bring awesome adventures in real life. We should vine a quadrangle group hug and post it to ActivePleasures.com… an example of an exercise that is good for the soul. (Seriously guys, we need to update that… we’ve had people who have been hurdling since 2013) Last but not least, we really couldn’t have hit 10 episodes without the help and support of the first 9 episodes and their ability to exist sequentially. This is truly a numerical triumph. We started from the bottom, now we here.

 

To celebrate the 10th episode of Face The Facts, this FTF will introduce a new series we have been working on… HADOUKEN! The Hadouken series of FTF will be a video-gaming centric segment, covering everything from the old school to the next gen. Whether you are a fan of Candy Crush or Mario Kart, there will be something here for half of you. FTF:Hadouken will review current titles and provide previews on future ones. There will also be some reminiscing on the good ol’ games of yore. Basically, the Hadouken series will be bringing all of the gaming goodness this world has to offer. So let’s get to it!

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Fact – Mario, originally called “jumpman,” looked the way he does because of the hardware limitations of the time. He was given a mustache to separate his nose from his face and a hat because hair was considered too hard to draw.

Video games hold a very different worth to different people, it really comes down to your experiences growing up. Some people grew up bascially plugged in to a videogame system. People like that probably need to face the facts (you tell them Albert!) about their life. There are people like my wife, who did not grow up in a particularly video-game friendly household. That meant that she spent her time miserably making new friends and exploring outside with them. This may be why she has vastly superior social skills than I do. She does however have a soft spot for lemmings, winning!

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You have people like my good friend Capt. Dan, who remembers long nights of gaming sessions with his brothers. He once told me that he was sure his mother knew videogames were bad in such large doses. She would let it slide because it meant he and his siblings were distracted, in no imminent threat of danger, and the house was quiet (aside from the occasional NO!). You have people like my flatmate Klar who are a sort of hybrid class (rpg reference). He has fond memories of going over to his relatives house and playing some Sega Genesis with his cousins. It was all about Sonic The Hedgehog.

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For me, it was a little bit of a combination between Capt. Dan and Klar. I still remember when my dad got me my Nintendo Entertainment System. It came with the light gun that you could play Duck Hunt with. This wasn’t even for my birthday or Christmas… I just remembered it happening out of the blue. What that started was a magical journey through an 8 bit wonderland. Videogames can be a bit like a drug, both addicting and able to produce feelings of euphoria. There was nothing like feeling invincible after getting your white suit swag on in Zelda or feeling like you were sharing in this great videogame secret when you took the warp pipe to level five in Super Mario Bros.

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I still remember conquering Crystal Palace and wanting to name every dog I would ever own Zap (for the record I’ve had one dog in my life, and we named him Skippy after a priest [no definitely not after the annoying Star Fox character… seriously, do a barrel-roll every once in a while and maybe you wouldn’t keep getting in trouble]). I would literally jump around with my characters on screen, which would make my dad lol and my mother happy (I was seriously fat, jumping while playing videogames was probably the most exercise she could get me to do). I remember Willow (also watch the movie with the amazing Val Kilmer), a game that had such a scary queen as the main antagonist, I couldn’t play the game unless my dad sat in the room. Thanks Bo, that had to be boring. (But seriously, she turned people into pigs!!! Plus she wanted to murder a baby, creeeeeeepy).

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My other nostalgic videogame related memories were of going to my cousins’ house and playing their Super Nintendo. Super Mario World… SFII… Bomberman… it was always a blast seeing my relatives but this made the trip to their place so much more fun. Of course I was only allowed to play in 5 minute increments. Let me explain, the videogame store around the corner from their house only rented out games in 5 minute increments. Does this sound like a ludicrous business model to you? Well, that’s because it was completely bogus, as in this business was non-existent. They made up the story to limit my time on their videogame equipment. They even drove me to the “game rental building” to prove where they had to “return” the games. Come on Choiloi, get your head in the game!!! The building clearly says Kodak on the front.                                            ($) X   10

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Even with their elaborate ruse suppressing my full gaming experience, it was enough to engage the imagination of a young Choiloi. What if I competed in a World Warrior tournament? Nah, too fat. What if I had a pet dinosaur named Yoshi? He would be my best friend! We would do everything together, like go to the arcade and eat ice cream (I was a fat kid btw). We could build a tree house together and just live up there, occasionally raiding my parents house for sustenance like Cheetos and Oberto beef jerky (I was eating that way before anyone paid me too, Richard Sherman…I even had a jingle “oh boy obertooooo/oh boy obertooo” – yes I was a fat kid).

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The Super Nintendo was glorious and it had my all time favorite game, CHRONO TRIGGER. Chrono Trigs will be left for another FTF:Hadouken, or maybe multiple FTF:Hadoukens. My love for that game is great; I once stole my little brothers PSP to play Chrono Trigger, and that was when I was in Law School. That great game aside, there will always be a soft spot in my heart for my OG Nintendo. I grew up in the 8 bit generation, where if the background changed colors it was considered graphically top notch. Look you punk kids, some of the best games that come out today derived from these 8 bit masterpieces. So for all the fans of the GREAT 8 BIT ERA, here is a little treat for you guys to celebrate FTF:10 – Super Mario Bros with an Allstar cast of 8 bit heroes. http://www.explodingrabbit.com/games/super-mario-bros-crossover/

Fact – The PlayStation 2 was the first system to have graphics capability better than that of the leading-edge personal computer at the time of its release.

Take that “PC is the master race.”

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Fact – People that read Vivd Karet never go bald.

Thanks for reading the 10th episode of FTF. Please check out all of the great content on VividKaret.com, it is all #thingsthatareawesome. If you haven’t already, you can follow me on twitter @facethefacts22. I will be coming up with a Bro-est Bros You Knows shortly, so stay tuned in for that. That is all until next time… remember, when in doubt, Face The Facts!

*Clucks

March 6, 2013

Face the Facts – Episode 5: The Amazing Spandaman and Adventures with Waffles.

Face the Facts

Welcome to another edition of FTF, my scrumtrulescent  blog on the wonderful and irrelevant. I’m going on a trip so there won’t be another FTF for a few weeks. I’ll be sure to fill you in on the the goodies from our adventures overseas as soon as I get back State-side. In the rare case that I don’t make it back, I wanted to include my will in this FTF. So here goes:

To my brother Lam, I give you all of my videogame equipment and the board game Cranium (to get smarter). To my brother Binh, I give you my headphones and protein shaker (to get stronger). To my flat-mate Klar, I give you my Bowflex (to get swole-er). To Cthulhu, you can have any extra toilet cleaning supplies I have in my bathroom (because go screw yourself evil Cthulhu). To my wonderful wife, I give you everything else. Oh yeah, and to my buddy Lt. Dan, I give you my brain pod and the remaining balance of my graduate school debt.

Fact – There really is no such thing as a “Belgium Waffle.” It was simple a marketing tactic to sell the “Brussels Waffle”to Americans who were bad at geography. What many mistakenly call a Belgium Waffle is simply a Brussels waffle made with American waffle ingredients 

So Zanahoria told me the other day that we had some ground beef and potatoes that we needed to use up before our trip. We decided to make waffles out of them. This is what happened:

1. We busted out the Mouli, a vintage French grater we have courtesy of Mummo.

 

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2. Then we went SHREDDER on those potatoes and seasoned it with a touch of salt and pepper.

 

 

3. After that, Zanahoria seasoned the meat with an assortment of delicious spices.

 

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4. We mashed it all together an balled them up.

 

 

5. Next we heated the waffle maker and put the ingredients in.

 

 

6. Viola! I present to you your meat and potatoes… in waffle form.

 

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So they were fairly easy to make and were quite tasty.We are  now thinking of hosting a “you bring it and we will waffle it” party. Think of the possibilities! Brownie waffles, Cookie Waffles, Cheese Waffles… we could even combine Chicken and Waffles and make Chicken Waffles! Mind Blown!

Fact – The resignation letter that Jarvis, Tony Stark’s butler, wrote in Iron Man No. 127 was actually artist Dave Cockrum’s real life resignation letter to Marvel. The only editing done  to the letter was changing “Marvel” to “Avengers.”

So Klar, Zanahoria, and I went out to sushi this past weekend. While we were waiting for our food I busted out some doodles. Zanahoria and Klar were both floored by the magnificence of my art work. Klar said he had never witnessed such grace in the form of a sketch. Zanahoria asked me if my hands had been blessed by the heavens. They wanted to know what inspired me to create such a wonderful work of art.

I told them what they were seeing was a character I had created during my childhood. His name was Spandaman, the awesomely radioactive sponge. They asked “did he have a sidekick?” Well, it was probably whoever my best friend was as a kid… so no. Not even an imaginary one? Well my imagination kind of sucked (superhero sponge?!) so that’s a negatron. Nonetheless, they just couldn’t get over how cool Spandaman looked. Klar said that I should turn it into a web comic serial on FTF. Zanahoria said that if Klar said it was a good idea than at least one person thought it was a good idea. She probably had more to say but sushi had just arrived.

So exciting news time! From now on FTF will be bringing you the web comic series “The Awesome Adventures of Spandaman!” FTF is proud to present to you…

The Awesome Adventures of Spandaman – No. 1 – The Obligatory Origin Story

*best to play this while viewing the comic 

Millions of years ago, an astroid containing radioactive fragments crashed into Earth. The astroid plunged deep into the Pacific Ocean, exploding on the ocean floor and causing massive tsunamis and earthquakes all around the planet. All of the surrounding wildlife perished from the initial blast except for single sea sponge. The radioactive elements had animated the sea sponge, giving it both incredible intelligence and lithe limbs!

 

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The sponge walked over to a wrangled mess of kelp and seaweed and fashioned a cloak. He then made a utility belt out of bits of coral and shell. Parts of the astroid had forged together upon impact and created the coolest pair of sunglasses, which the sponge appropriated to mask the fact that he did not, in fact, have eyes. From then on the world would know that unassuming sponge as SPANDAMAN!

Tune in to future installments of FTF for the next Awesome Adventures of Spandaman… now with actual adventures!

Fact – George St. Piere’s chest tattoo is Kanji for “jujutsu.”

So unfortunately I’ll still be out of the country when the welterweight extravaganza (aka UFC 158) occurs. The co-main event of this card is about as good as it gets with GSP going against rival Nick Diaz and my boy Jonhy Hendricks going against Carlos Condit. I won’t go into to much detail as I am sure Klar will have a write-up of some sort as the match rolls around, but I will leave you with this promo:

GSP said in an interview that the tattoo on his chest means that there are two sides of him, and that he can be very rude and very nice. He finished by saying “I like to be rude when I fight.” The term jujutsu translated means “the gentle art.” Does this imply that the non-tatted side of his chest is the rude ying to his tatted side’s yang? Something tells me he won’t be “inspired” by his tattoo on March 16.

Fact – People that read VividKaret.com are above average.

Tune in to the next Face The Facts where FTF will finally look at the future of gaming. Be sure to check all the new fresh blogs up on VividKaret.com. Follow VivdKaret on twitter @VividKaret #quadrangleofpower and follow Face The Facts @facethefacts22 #thingsthatareawesome.

 

March 1, 2013

Face the Facts – Episode 4: Make Him Feel The Pain!

Face The Facts

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Welcome to another addition of FTF, my bro-dacious blog on the wonderful and irrelevant. So it has been awhile, and I am sure many of you are wondering how things are going in La Casa de Vivid. Things are going splendidly. I have been married over a year now to the beautiful Zanahoria, and while I don’t show it enough, I love her very much and am so happy. I am constantly amazed by her and I am thoroughly humbled at the thought of how much patience she must possess to deal with me.

Living in DC has been a blast. I find myself thinking of this city as home now. When we leave this will have been a very special and memorable stop in our lives. My flatmate and Chtulhu have done an excellent job completing the quadrangle of power (TMed by Zanahoria). They hold a very unique place in the hearts of my wife and I. As I have started to adopt this city as my new home, I too have started to view my flat-mate and his rice-rocket-racing-demon-troll of a wife, as family.  They are about as kind and respectful as flatmates get and they get down 90’s style just about as well as anybody short of…

Fact- The brain, which serves as the interpreter of pain for the body’s pain sensitive nerve tissues, itself cannot experience the pain as it is the only part of the body without these nerves. 

The “feel the pain” is an homage to my awesome (and sometimes oddly sadistic) dad. A few years ago when I was in law school in Florida, my family came down to visit during the holidays. Naturally (as people tend to do in Florida) we went to the beach where my brothers and Zanahoria decided to bury me in the sand. Before long I was basically entombed in the sand with only my head free. It was all fun and games until my dad walked over, balled a large clump of wet sand, picked it up, and proceeded to drop it with gravitational might… on my privates. As he did this, he yelled out “make him feel the pain!” He couldn’t stop chuckling after that, he was practically  giddy with evil. So my dad can bring the pain.

As they say, like father-in-law like daughter-in-law. So everyone knows my wife is a super ninja warrior princess. She has  a battle cry like Xena and her approach to fighting is Lawless. A while back, inspired by my viewing of the movie Warrior (I have a review of the movie further down in the blog), I decided I needed to teach my wife a little mma in case some one was stupid enough to mug her. We do live in the city, and in the city one faces inner city pressure. So I gave her some boxing gloves and I put on mitts to teach her some basic punches. She started punching me and not the mitts.

After recovering from the kidney shots, I told her she should take it easy and just try and hit the mits. She scoffed at me and replied that if she was going to learn to fight she might as well learn to hit some one instead of giving them really accurate “fist bumps.” So I decided to switch gears and offered to teach her some jiujitsu. She was having none of it, she wanted to drop some Z-Bombs. I told her that she needed a foundation before she threw haymakers. She said fine, “teach me the basics and I’ll fill in the bleeders.” Yeah… she said that. So if someone ever decides to attack my wife, you are going to end up like this guy:

 

Filling in the bleeders

Filling in the bleeders

 

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Zanahoria happened, bro

 

Fact – Tom Hardy actually weighed less in The Dark Knight Rises as Bane than he was as Tommy in Warrior (movie review #spoilers)

First of all, I nominate this movie for guy’s night. Yeah, I like it that much. The movie is about two brothers, one is a marine and the other brother is a science teacher, dealing with their emotions through mma. They train to compete in a grand prix style tournament that features the best mma fighters in the world. So naturally these two guys get in, because there are only like a handful of fighters in the entire freaking world. I mean, this is a world that references the UFC and Strikeforce! Was George St. Piere and Chael Sonnen just on vacation? Was Jon Jones ducking another fight? Where was Anthony Johnson? Surely he has a lot of free time after being dismissed from the UFC. Wait… he was in the movie.

Anyways, as one would expect from an M Night Shyamalan movie, there is a twist (spoiler alert) and the brothers meet up in the finals. Except that that really isn’t a twist and I’m pretty sure the trailers all show the brothers touching gloves while the commentator says “you won’t believe this… but the men fighting in the finals are brothers!” Twist! The announcer isn’t talking about siblings; he was just stunned that two black guys made it to the finals when only one black guy had entered the tournament (Anthony Johnson). Oh, and the movie was awesome and not in 3d, so yeah it was obviously not a Shyamalan movie.

 

warrior

 

Review: This was a solid film that for better or worse, drew comparisons to Rocky. One of the greatest disservices to future movie watchers is how much of a caricature Rocky has become in today’s culture. The six sequels, the cartoonish portrayal of the rival boxers, the six pack Sly hopped up on HGH, and the inclusion of 80’s music later on in the series has led to a self over-saturation, causing many to stick Rocky in the notorious “fun” guy movie genre.  Guys, it wasn’t a great film because of the egg drinking and the over the top training montages, that was only 99%.

At the core of the OG Rocky was the very essence of the American dream. Here was a guy, down on his luck, and all he had was the love of a woman, his faith in God, and his ability to work harder than the next guy. His success encapsulated everything a hard working American believed in, that in this country, anyone has the potential to be great; you just need faith and a can-do spirit. That classic and iconic movie, the movie that won best picture, is the caliber of film I believe more closely resembles Warrior.

Warrior

The two protagonist in Warrior are estranged brothers. Tommy is an intense ex-marine bad-ass and Brendan is a good-natured but down-on-his-luck science teacher. Brendan also happens to have had a brief career in the UFC. Both are equally appealing to the audience due to the solid performances put in by the actors. Each has his own reason’s for fighting, and the movie does a good job of balancing the characters and making it hard to root for one over the other.

The film’s first two acts do a good enough job of filling in the characters back stories while moving the story forward, though there may be some cliché moments involved in these acts including it’s very own training montage. The last act, which centers around the big Sparta tournament, may be some of the most adrenaline pumping fun I have had at the movies. It was a rolling crescendo of violence; a brutally realistic representation of mixed martial arts fighting.

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This wasn’t just a movie that reminded us of how hard it is sometimes to make it day in and day out with so much uncertainty in the world,  this was a movie that took you through the hardship and let you celebrate in the triumph. I’m not saying this was a movie that got me out of my seats cheering, but that is because I have the common decency not to stand up and block the view of the person behind me.  The movie served as a communal cathartic release for an audience that most likely empathized with the hardship of a tough economy and the underdog mentality that comes with it. Many relate to the pain that grudges can cause, not just to the person but their family. To that end, there is a mix of appreciation and recoil at how powerfully this movie captures the struggles of the human experience.

I went to an undergraduate university that had a great books program. I had a professor, Dr. Dougherty, that would say that many other schools questioned why we read the same old classics over and over. He posited that we do it because there is something there that makes it a classic, a message or a lesson that is timeless and is as important and relevant today as it was back then. So there may be a few complaints about this movie rehashing some of the same “redemption” movie tropes and sport clichés . You may feel that way while you watch it; but when it is over, you may be thinking you have just watched a classic.

5 out of 5 Vivid Karets:

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Fact – Tom Hardy’s fight scenes were generally short because of his limited knowledge of mma.

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Fact – They were originally planning to CGI Bane’s physique, but decided it would be more realistic if he looked strong but not bodybuilder strong. Criminal masterminds plotting terrorist attacks have limited time to lift and plan their diet.

Fact – Dennis Rodman didn’t play a second of high school basketball, and was only 5’11” when he graduated.  He grew eight more inches by the time he was twenty, at which point he quit his job as a janitor at the DFW airport to play basketball at Cooke County Junior College.

So the NBA trade deadline past with very little movement. Players that were rumored to be on the move (Josh Smith/Al Jefferson/Marcin Gortat) stayed put. The teams that were suppose to be active (Jazz/Hawks/Nets) didn’t do anything. The Bucks acquired another short shooter in JJ Reddick, and the Suns united twin brothers Markeiff Morris and Marcus Morris. BTW, Zanahoria pointed out that if Markeiff ever stinks in a game you can always say “Markieff, more like Marqueef!” (she’s so funny).

The biggest move at the dead line involved my Houston Rockets trading Patrick Patterson, Cole Aldrich, and Tony Douglass for Thomas Robinson, Francisco Garcia and Tyler Honeycutt. Here is what the sport’s media had to say about the trade:

What do you think of Houston fleecing Sacramento for Thomas Robinson? Why do teams continue to trade with Dork Elvis? Everyone, STOP TRADING WITH DORK ELVIS!!!!! -Bill Simmons *Dork Elvis refers to Rockets GM Daryl Morey’s

That was a shocker. The highest-value player here is obviously Robinson. – Zack Lowe

Rockets definitely win this trade, Robinson helps their rebounding and defense now. – David Aldridge

So yeah it was nice trade for the Rockets. It gives the team more financial flexibility moving forward. Patrick Patterson was on a rookie contract with his option coming up (he has earned a bigger payday) and Thomas Robinson still has up to 5 years on a rookie salary. The rookie salary is the most valuable commodity on an NBA team. This is because it is fixed salary based on the CBA, not a percentage of the cap based on the free market.

Because basketball is a young man’s game, many skilled rookies can come in and contribute like a veteran by their 2nd and 3rd year. That sort of production could warrant a salary three times as much once the rookie contract ends. Now the Rockets can sign a max player, have money for extra depth, and they have another draft pick. Watch the Rockets make a hard run for Dwight Howard during the summer. While they didn’t improve their chances at a playoff push this season, they have a very bright future.

Speaking of the Rockets, my buddy Klar hooked me up with tickets to go see the Rockets play the Wizards last weekend. This was double the awesome because I get to watch the Rockets and I get a chance at personal redemption. What do I mean by redemption? Well a year ago, we went to a Knicks/Wizards game pre-Linsanity. I may have been the only person in the building that knew who Jeremy Lin was. When he left the court to walk back to the locker room I stood at the railing to say hello and get a high five. IGNORED!!! Like flat out “I won’t even acknowledge your existence” ignored. I went to a GSP dark place in my head after that. Fast forward a year later and I finally get a chance to totally redeem myself. I will not be ignored:

Oh wellos…there is always next year. So he was probably just afraid of making his bestie Channy P jealous, right? Channy P gives a very interesting handshake BTW.

Fact – Research shows guys with best friends live longer

To all the bros out there and their bromantic endeavors, I present to you the second best bromance (behind UD besties 2008) Jeremy Lin and Chandler Parson:

Fact – Reading VividKaret.com blogs makes you a cooler person

Tune in to the next Face The Facts where FTF will look at the future of gaming. Be sure to check all the new fresh blogs up on VividKaret.com. Follow VivdKaret on twitter @VividKaret #quadrangleofpower and follow Face The Facts @facethefacts22 #thingsthatareawesome. Quick shout out to the guys that are having a bachelor party at Casa de Vivid. Tonight will be fun but it is nothing compared to finding the one you love and spending the rest of your life with them. Truly, congratulations!

Peace Outside