Posts tagged ‘NBA’

August 2, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Episode 10 – BRAHgust Musings

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Here at BBYK, we love bro music and that includes bro country tunes. These songs can be a brah-some backdrop to an epic sesh of corn-hole and day drinking. However, there are people that have abused the genre. Case in point, Florida-Georgia Line, the Nickleback of country music. We know they are trying really hard to be bros, but they look like they would be BFF’s with this Optimus douche-bag. It is perfectly fine to make adequate bro country music, but at least manage to not be lame. We get it… red dirt, beer, tailgate… a working recipe for bro country. But seriously:

Stir it up as we turn on some Marley
If you want you can get on Harley
I sit you up on a kitchen sink
Stick the pink umbrella in your drink

How subtle. Well, here at Bro-est Bros You Knows, we decided to cow-bro up a Bore-ida Bore-gia Line song. Special guest star #thereal Psych Ed, fan of this guy 94-95, stops by to talk about the NBA free agency and the bro-est bros list the top NBA western conference teams. Plus, BBYK scores an exclusive interview with the owner of DC Dog Runner.

BBYK is now on iTunes

DC Dog Runner

bryan@dcdogrunner.com

http://www.facebook.com/dcdogrun

Fact – People that read Vivid Karet are ridiculously excited about Zoolander 2!

How awesome is this?!

What is this a trailer for ants? It should be 3 times as long!!!

May 19, 2015

Face The Facts – Episode 28: Houston Rocket Raccoon V

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 Fact: The Houston Rockets advance to the Western Conference Finals for the first time since 1997!

You can read Houston Rocket Raccoon IV here.

The heroes of our tale completed the epic comeback over the menacing Clipauri! They led from start to finish and sent their fallen foes back to LA. Along the way, our heroes fought alongside some new allies. Their new level of trust in each other paid off remarkably on the court, as the Rockets teamed up to put on quite a game 7 show.

 

 

Capt. Pablo, an old war veteran, provided a lot of energy and leadership. Thorence, the god of hairstyle, slammed that basketball with the power of a thousand winds. How sweet it is!

 

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THORENCE: What fine victory my fellow teammates. Let us be merry and celebrate!

IRON A-3-Za: We can go back to my place.

The heroes went back to Iron A-3-Za’s penthouse suite. Rocket Harden kicked off his shoes to relax, trying to just appreciate the moment. DJ A-3-Za put on some Aerosmith:

 

 

HARDEN: So Capt. Pablo, you are like super old right? Like really really really old. How are you still making those plays?

CAPT. PABLO: Mamma-Mia! The truth is-a… I’m-a takin’ da Supa Mario Serum-a. It-sa makin’ me feel-a the young again-a. I’m-a go for steals like-a da ball was a gold coin-a!

THORENCE: Your voice is high and shrill, like that of little girl. It is off-putting, but you are a worthy and brave combatant all the same.

Everything was going well when all off sudden the lights started to flicker. Then there was a loud crash. A mysterious figure loomed in the doorway.

IRON A-3-Za: Hey this our celebration, you need to get hell out of my house!

CULTRON: Where is your fearless leader, Rocket Harden?

HARDEN: I’m right here, ugly. What do you want?

CULTRON: HAHA… it is what you wanted. It is what you all wanted. The MVP award… I’ll take that first!

 

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Now our heroes face their toughest test yet. Cultron and his army of robo-warriors have dominated the NBA on their way to the league’s best record. They were versatile, they had solid defense, and they could score in bunches.

HARDEN: What is the plan Agent Dream?

AGENT DREAM: You need to fo-cass! I once had to go against a top ranked Spurdra team led by David Wolfgang von Robinson after he won my MVP trophy.

HARDEN: What did you do?

AGENT DREAM: I dug deep and became unbeatable. I trusted in my skills and in my teammates. In the end, we prevailed. You are going against a very strong opponent, you will need to be in your finest form. You need to find that clutch gene that is in your DNA, and unleash it on the biggest stage of your career. Kill the boy, and let the Beard be born!

HARDEN: So I need to become unbeatable?

AGENT DREAM: Yes. You will also need some help.

 

 

FALCON JET: Clear the runways, the JET is incoming!

The Rockets travel into enemy territory riding the momentum of their last victory. These guys may be good, but the Rockets know they can beat them. They Believe!

 

Houston Rockets are set to face off against Cultron and the robo-warriors:

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Fact: People that read Vivid Karet should know be aware of how similar the current run is to the OG Clutch City!

The 95 Clutch City team won the first round in 5 games and came back from down 3-1 to win a 7 game series in the semis.They also went against a number one seeded team with the league MVP. Just saying. Hoping the good guys set the tone early and deliver a W tonight. After a great performance in game 7 against the Clippers, I will let Pablo do the honors:

 

CAPT. PABLO: Let’s-a Go!

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Full Rock-engers picture

May 15, 2015

Face The Facts – Episode 27: Houston Rocket Raccoon IV

Fact – Only 8 teams have come back from 3-1, and that list includes a Houston Rockets team that inspired CLUTCH CITY!

You can read Houston Rocket Raccoon III here.

The series started with the heroes once again defending their home turf, where they have been excellent. They were in good spirits after an expeditious dismantling of their last opponents, but our heroes were quickly humbled. It was clear from the start that their last opponent wasn’t very good, and the Clipauri posed a much greater threat.

They knew they were going against the Clipauri, but they didn’t take a moment to consider how the Clipauri were attacking with such a coordinated vengeance. They were too composed, too well orchestrated. Were the Clipauri capable of this on their own?

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Of course! It was all a power play by Bloki, the god of flop. Bloki came out and inspired his Clipauri to victory. Splitting the home games, our heroes traveled to LA to win back home court. Our heroes needed to step up to match the trickery of Bloki.

BLOKI: Bow before me ants! I am Bloki and I am your ruler. As your great ruler I will command with the power of a Kia Optima, whose 200 horsepower rank it among the best in class in mid-size sedans 2015!

DWERT: I am Dwert?

BLOKI: Silence, it’s time to put a stop to you, much like the Kia Optima’s excellent braking system.

Knowing that they would need help, the Rockets called upon Iron A-3-za. While he came out guns blazing, Houston would still get blown out in both games in LA. Many galactic sporting experts wondered if they were done. There were idiots asking “what are we going to do, man?” Word on the galactic twitter-sphere was this was #chokecity part II.

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BLOKI: We are going to kill you just like the Kia Optima… because it is one killer car!

SMAX: We must stop this murderous mode of transport!!!

BLOKI: What? No… I mean that the car is sick!

SMAX: Should we contact a vehicular health care professional?

BLOKI: Dude… what is wrong with you? This is going to be too easy… like driving a Kia Optima.

The Rockets returned home knowing their backs were against the wall. Behind a stellar performance by Rocket Harden and Iron A-3-Za, the Rockets gave the Clipauri a taste of their own medicine. They needed that win, but it also meant returning to LA where they have not had success.

Smax and Cormora were headed to the team transport when from out of the shadows stepped…

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SMAX/CORMORA: Agent Dream?!

AGENT DREAM: Indeed I am. Smax and Cormora, I need you guys to step up on the court and avenge the losses!

CORMORA: What?! So is this Avengers now? I thought this was a GOTG thing?

AGENT DREAM: I need you to fo-cass! You need to show more heart  on the court, and embody your new alter egos. Cormora, I need you to channel your cat like reflexes and become the Black Mobley. Smax, when you are filled with rage, I need you to fo-cass up and become the hulking Smash!

BLACK MOBLEY: Shouldn’t I be like the black Anderson Silva or the black Katie Couric? Never-mind, I like the digs… this is purrfect… wait NO… please don’t let that be my thing!

SMAX: Smash!

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HARDEN: Okay, great… what about me Agent Dream?

AGENT DREAM: I didn’t become the leader I am today without learning to trust my teammates. Most days, men like us carry them. Sometimes, we need them to carry us. Only when you guys can trust each other and learn to play free as a team, will you attain Clutch City status.

Once again, the Clipauri pounced early. This time the Rockets battled back and it was a close contest at the midway point. It looked like the Rockets had a shot to win it. Then the third quarter of battle began, and Bloki led the Clipauri on an all out assault. The results of which left the Rockets bruised and reeling.

BLOKI: We are up by 19 near the end of the third. We have conquered your spirit! Kneel before your ruler and the Kia Optima’s 24mpg in the city!

SMAX… SMASH: Smash kneels before no flopper!

The forth quarter began… and the Smash was angry!

BLOKI: You dare stand before a God?

The Rockets dared, and they did it behind the hulking might of Smash!

SMASH: Splash! *shoots a three

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They came back from 19 down to not only beat the Clipauri on their home floor, but they lapped them. Dwert performed admirably. Harden cheered on his teammates knowing that they now possessed confidence in themselves to take it to the next level. More importantly he learned that he could trust these headband of brothers to have his back and carry him when he needs it. It was time to roll!

HARDEN: Those guys were right… this is like choke city. And that was our rally game Agent Dream!

AGENT DREAM: You still need to fo-cass… only then can you be unbeatable!

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IRON A-3-Za: Time to take this fight back home!

The heroes return to Houston for an epic Game 7 showdown!

To be continued…

Fact – That was one of the greatest comebacks in Rockets playoff history!

Guys… that was insane! I still cannot believe it. Houston, we get another go at these guys on our home floor! Lets Go! Follow us at @vividkaret for updates on our latest blogs, and you can follow me at @facethefacts22. Until next time, when in doubt, Beat LA!

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April 17, 2015

Face The Facts – Episode 24: Houston Rocket Raccoon

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Fact – This story begins a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

There were two unlikely bros, a rambunctious raccoon and a playful plant monster, and they traveled the many stars together. The raccoon was named Rocket after his favorite terrestrial sporting team. The plant monster was named Groot because he looked like a giant root. Highly trained in weapons and hand-to-hand combat, these bros mostly used their skills for hustling and scheming. When push came to shove, however, this dynamic duo showed off how potent they were, thwarting numerous space police attempts to catch them. One time they were spotted and had to flee on foot….

ROCKET: Groot, we have to make a break for it… fast!

GROOT: I am Groot!

A space marine tried to tackle the raccoon, who took a long step to the right and a quick step to the left and made the marine whiff completely as he dove. The towering tree tried an evasive spin move, but ended up running straight into the other space marine, knocking him over. Persistent as always and typically proud of his skills, he tried the spin move again, this time taking out three marines.

KNOCKED DOWN BALD MARINE: You need to be more dominant in your spinning, like rotisserie chicken!

Rocket was once again being chased, this time by a rather agile soldier. The raccoon let the marine get close and forced some contact. Suddenly Groot ran up on the Marine’s blind side, and Rocket deftly dodged around his partner. The marine slammed into Groot, and slunk to the floor. The fallen marine blew a whistle to signal for backup, but Rocket instinctively shot him when he heard the sound. As they exited the building, Groot once again attempted a spin move to evade the door… and ran into a wall.

ROCKET: Why do you keep trying to do that? Stick to what you are good at!

GROOT: I am Groot!?

ROCKET: I saw you do it!

Military space academies across the universe would have loved to add these two to their roster. They kept a close eye on these felonious fellas, and maintained detailed files on them. The plant monster had great size and his natural regenerative ability proved he had elite defensive qualities. Defensively he could absorb a lot of enemy firepower, effectively neutralizing a lot of the enemies strategy.  But he kept insisting on going to his awkward spin-move (a move he was unabashedly prideful of) which over time could prove disastrous in battle.

 

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The raccoon, on the other hand, could level a city block with his expert shooting and precise vision. Rocket was also an efficient marksman, accurately sniping enemies off from afar and/or bringing the fight in close where he was deadly. He displayed rare combat awareness, always cognizant of the position of his enemies on the field. But for all his offensive prowess, he proved a liability defensively, being so small with such stubby legs. He also had a lot of facial hair, making it hard to tell if he showed any emotion.

Their skills and talents made them an intriguing pairing, but their weaknesses ultimately made it difficult for the academies to take them too seriously. Which was fine by them–these guys were living the care-free life. The mischievous mammal loved going on great adventures with his enigmatic extraterrestrial buddy.

They weren’t particularly popular and didn’t have many friends, but they had each other. They would take cooking lessons together. They played pick-up ball with the Munstars. One day they were stumbling out of a galactic brothel when they bumped into:

 

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ROCKET: Who are you?

STAR LORD: I am Star Lord!

ROCKET: Who?

STAR LORD: Star Lord… oh forget it. This was a mistake, I’m a lone wolf anyways.

ROCKET: Bro, just tell me and my buddy here what’s up… or get out of the way!

Star Lord hesitated, then proceeded to explain, by means of an elaborate montage, how Rocket Raccoon’s favorite team has been suffering for the past two decades. The fruitful seasons of years past seem like little more than a Dream.

ROCKET: Hey, I love those guys but what can we do, huh? Let’s go Groot!

STAR LORD: Please just watch this.

He inserted in a VHS tape replaying all of the horrendous things that have happened to the Rockets over the years. How they actually thought Pippen would work out. How the talented Tracy ultimately quit on the team. All of the heart wrenching buzzer beaters by their opponents. Drafting RV-bound rookies. But the worst part… all of the injuries:

 

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STAR LORD: They need some help, and you guys have a particular set of skills to do just that.

ROCKET: Does that really translate into basketball? I mean… does that really make sense?

STAR LORD: UH YEAH! Your accuracy, vision, and natural instincts will make you a great basketball combatant.

ROCKET: Fine, what do we do?

STAR LORD: Your mission, if you chose to…

GROOT: I am Groot?

ROCKET: Excellent question Groot… is Ryu really a fan of Hakeem?

STAR LORD: Hell yes! Ryu would go to the arcade, when he wasn’t training for the World Warrior, to play as Hakeem on NBA JAM.

ROCKET AND GROOT: Righteous/I am Groot!

Star Lord explained the mission. He wanted to send Rocket and Groot to Earth to help the Rockets. He had recently acquired a tesseract in the woods, the functionality of which is to serve as a sci-fi catch-all to do seemingly miraculous things without much explanation. In this case, the tesseract could transform them into earth born humanoids and  transport them to Earth. These human bodies would possess their skills and talents.

ROCKET: Wait… so like reverse Space Jam?

GROOT: I am Groot?

ROCKET: So, are you coming with us?

STAR LORD: Yes, but I recently hurt my back fighting off an eagle, so I won’t be able to participate. Are you ready?

ROCKET: Oh Yeah!

After a briefing, they were informed that they would get some team mates. A former athletic beast that had lost popularity with his people, and a thief that loved to smile. They were put into the chamber along with the other two cast offs to go save the Rockets:

 

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When they emerged, they were something completely unique to the universe. These new ballin’ beings decided they needed new names to match their new identities.

RACCOON: My soul hardened when I watch all of those injuries. From now on I shall be know as Harden!

FAUNA FREAK: I am Dwert!!!

HARDEN: Alright Dwert, let’s go save Clutch City!

What happened next was nothing short of astounding. Harden completely took the league by storm. He teamed up with Dwert with their patented escape techniques to perform flawless pick and rolls.  Harden would get you with a little bit of this:

 

 

He would hit you with a little bit of that:

 

 

That little raccoon even showed off some defense!

Over the course of the season, Dwert suffered the same fate as those before him, missing many games with injuries. Without his buddy Dwert, Harden had to carry the load by himself. He put together an MVP caliber season, putting up stats that only Bird and Space Jam famous Jordan have achieved before. He did all of this while helping his buddy rehab.

 

 

Eventually, Dwert healed back up and rejoined the team. His teammates and coaches celebrated his return like it was a birthday party.

MUSIC: *Turn down for Watt

HARDEN: Glad to have you back big guy!

DWERT: I am Dwert!

HARDEN: Wait, you are really going to sacrifice your spin move for the team?

DWERT: I am Dwert!

HARDEN: But you love that move…

DWERT: I am Dwert!

TEAMMATES: *cheering

DWERT: We are Dwert!

Reinvigorated and reloaded, the Rockets powered onwards. These (head)band of brothers continued to charge triumphantly through the season, striving for the ultimate prize… a CHAMPIONSHIP. Despite the injury curse, they persevered and locked in home court advantage for the first round of the playoffs.

Now, with the playoffs at hand, the Harden led Houston Rockets look to take down the Mavericks.

 

 

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TO BE CONTINUED…

 

Fact – People that read face the facts are naturally charismatic.

Thanks for reading, I hope you guys enjoyed that. So that was the first installment of what I hope will be a continuing series. Klar and I will be doing an NBA playoffs edition of Bro-est Bros You Knows, so keep your eye out for that. I can not tell you how excited I am to watch some playoff basketball. You can follow me on twitter @facethefacts22. Until next time, when in doubt… face the facts!

 

 

GO ROCKETS!

February 13, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Episode 8 – BRAHlentine’s Day

Bro tip – If you and your significant other have been arguing lately, use Valentine’s Day as a way to tell her “let’s not be be angry birds…”

This is going to be a special Valentine’s Day Bro-est Bros/Face The Facts mash-up. First up, the Bro-est Bros talk about this years BRAHlentine’s Day weekend spectacular and the NBA All Stars! They also provide brotacular insight on some big news in entertainment, including a preview of some great spin-off series that have come out on AMC.

Here is our EXCLUSIVE first look at AMC’s Mad Men spin-off, Mad Pen: 

 

Will the smooth talking Drawn Paper keep getting his meisterstück in other women while his wife (Con) Fetti Paper binges on Doritos? Will the shady Cheat ChamBull take Michael Donavan’s advice and push to pilot the Pilot campaign? Will Sterling be able to control his Danish bae(s)? Tune in to the next episode of Mad Pen to find out… or just listen to BBYK for the recap. (what?!)

 

Fact – You don’t have to be lonely… at Farmer’sOnly.com

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Here at Face The Facts, we’ve just received confirmation from Captain Dan that you don’t actually have to be a farmer to join that site. Have fun on Valentine’s Day with Bobbi-Jo, she sounds like she is quite… strong. I am glad that Captain Dan is getting out there, he was nearing the point of what many would call “hopelessly single.” In fact, there are a lot of people out there that will feel, especially on Valentine’s Day, that they are “hopelessly single.” Let me give each and every one of you an internet BroHug and assure that you most definitely are not.

I have a friend (you see how I avoided @klar21‘s wife’s best friend… wait) that at one point aspired to be that crazy cat lady that knits craft-stuff and scares children. She found herself an awesome hockey loving bro named… Brawn, and she is as happy as I have ever seen her. This isn’t a “oh, you will find someone soon” kind of thing. It is a “in a world where people number in the billions, there is a ridiculously high mathematical probability that, when armed with the science of human biology, creates a near virtual certainty that if you are in fact seeking love, love will find you” thing.

That’s not even the good part. For everyone out there that is single, looking for somebody… you have one of the greatest things in all of God’s infinite universe to look forward to. You get to fall in love for the first time. I have been in a relationship with my wife, going on ten years now, and I love her the most. A decade strong, I am still learning and growing, striving every day to be a better husband and partner for my wife. I look forward to our future together, but I will never forget the first time I met her.

I was in my dorm room showing off my awesome fish tank (so I wasn’t exactly “Kris Humphries” cool, but I was trying to be “Michael Humphries” cool anyways) to my future wife and a prospective student she was showing around. Late night’s memorizing the presidents for Am. Civ., getting introduced to Eddie Izzard and “bread guns,” listening to The General on loop, long walks around campus, and drinking way too much coffee… meeting my wife and falling in love with her was one of the best things I have ever had the privilege to experience. So to the single people out there, rejoice! Fact, DC has the highest concentration of singles out of all the major cities in America. Go out there and meet somebody… you might be meeting the best thing that can ever happen to you.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from Vivid Karet!

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*This episode is dedicated to Josie and Maddie, two incredibly brave girls. We are praying for you.

October 28, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 11: Thus Spoke Zanahoria

Fact: John Denver was born Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. and changed his last name because someone suggested that “Deutschendorf” was too long to fit on the marquee.

When I was a kid my mother would record us singing songs. Some were made up, some were Vietnamese, and some were apparently John Denver. We had a sweet moment the other day, when she texted me that “our favorite song” had come on the radio. I had one of those “d’oh” moments as an adult when I realized that the lines “Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy/Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry/Sunshine on the water looks so lovely/Sunshine almost always makes me high” weren’t just my mom’s sweet lyrical nothings.

Fact: The NBA season started today, beginning the one week of the year in which you could theoretically watch major league Baseball, Football, and Basketball at the same time.

Lebron/Irving/Love- Cleveland's "LIL 3"

Lebron/Irving/Love – Cleveland’s “LIL 3”

Hoop fans everywhere are excited. Is the new “LIL 3” (COINED) of Love, Irving, and Lebron championship material? Are the Spurs going to 2peat for the first time in franchise history? Will the NBA learn how to use italics to improve the readability of its instant replay rule changes? We will have to see, especially about those LIL 3 (my wife came up with that and she thinks it’s genius…which it kind of is). Pretty big news in the NBA last week, the NBA teams rejected a proposal that would have re-done the draft process. Check out Bro-est Bros for their take on a potential draft revisal. Also, the Mavericks have Chandler Parsons now… you’re welcome.

Fact: Chinchillas are crepuscular rodents. Crepuscular means “of, resembling, or relating to twilight.”

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What a handy word to now have in my lexicon. However, in zoology it specifically means appearing or active in twilight. I’d make a movie joke right now but I’d like to think I’m better than that. We’ll be having a post about Nacho, our crepuscular rodent, in a few days. He’s been much feistier lately now that his cage is (almost) as big as our bathroom. He indulges in many crepuscular activities.

Fact – People that Vivid Karet.com are unusually photogenic. 

 

 

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OK, I’m going to watch the game. LET’S GO ROYALS! Man, this KC crowd is awesome! Up 8-0 on Lorenzo Cain’s double! WAHOO! *Royals Win!

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October 18, 2014

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Episode 4

The Bro-est Bros you know cover week 7 fantasy football and preview the World Series. Host Passion Nate and his wife Affection Nate read excerpts from their new novel Present Man.

October 14, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 7: An Ode to Cowboys

Fact – The Cowboy Code was the foundation for the modern American Bro Code.

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Few figures capture the hearts and minds of the American public more so than the cowboy. His free spirit and rugged toughness seemed to personify America herself. The frontier conquering cowboy had a certain dana sais quoi (per FTF #6, or wife will freak out that I didn’t spell je ne sais quois correctly), and has truly earned his place in American mythology, right next to the almighty apple pie. While cowboys have been photoshopped by Hollywood and turned into alcoholic, gun-slinging outlaws, being a cowboy actually meant living an honorable, and often humble lifestyle.

Many books and movies depict the Wild West as a chaotic time marked by vicious gun fights and bank robberies, but the truth is the violent crime rate was low during that time period. Historically low in fact. In the year 1880, the cow town hubs of Dallas, Texas and Leadville, Colorado recorded zero homicides. In fact, between 1870-1885, the cities of Abilene, Ellsworth, Wichita, and Dodge City recorded 45 homicides. That is a rate of 1 per 100,000 citizens for a 15 year span. Furthermore, 16 of the 45 homicides were recorded as authorized by law enforcement. In terms of violent crime, that makes the “Wild” West era the most peaceful period in American History.

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Don’t be fooled by their tough and weathered exteriors; cowboys were not the murdering blood-thirsty bandits they are portrayed as in film. They were gentlemen, and they lived by their code. The cowboy code was a set of rules all cowboys abided by. The commandments of the Wild West, these rules helped ensure justice and civility in an otherwise untamed state of nature. The cowboy code encouraged all cowboys to treat each other as compañeros,  to treat all women with dignity and kindness, and to treat their profession with vigor and integrity. Many cowboys traversed the American Frontier with little more than their hats, their horses, and their code… satisfied by honest-to-goodness hard work and the most beautiful sunsets on God’s green Earth. One interesting rule in the cowboy code: cowboys were encouraged to nod instead of wave while on horseback. That’s right–the cowboy invented the original bro nod.

It is with these American icons that the Dallas professional football team proudly shares its namesake. This is America’s team, and for the first time in what seems like an eternity, America can be proud again. These Cowboys took on the reigning Superbowl champions. Even more daunting was that fact that they played on Seattle turf. What happened next was Washington crossing the Delaware. A supposed weakness going into the season, the Cowboys defense contained and pummeled Russell Wilson & company all game long.

Stop hating on the Cowboys D folks, they have replaced the yield sign that is Morris Claiborne with the stop sign that is Orlando Scandrick. The Seahawks were getting run over by Carr. They would get to Church and be baptized by bruises. For the most part, Lynch was least mode. The super speedy Harvin was held to ZERO yards receiving. If you were stupid enough to play him against the Cowboys D, you were rewarded with ZERO points in standard leagues. The Cowboys D punched the Seahawks in the face, and gave them a star-shaped black eye. On the flip side, the Superfriends Dez/Romo/Witten/Murray dominated the Legion of…Whom(?). As in, who were we suppose to fear? Richard Sherman? He got trucked over and over again by Dez and Murray. Earl Thomas? He missed Murray so badly on a tackle he wound up on a milk carton. Until this game, there were only rumors that you could run on the Seahawks:Demarco

Well Murray TMZed that mother. Yeah, the Boys sure looked good on Sunday. Now, don’t go out and pre-order your Superbowl Champions t-shirt just yet. We still have more than half a season to go. But for the first time in a long time, we can put the 5-1 “Cowboys” and “Superbowl contenders” in the same sentence, and not be accused of taking Mr. Mugatu crazy pills. How bout them Boys!?

Fact – Android would have bankrupted in 2003 if not for a cash donation of $10,000 by Steve Perlman, who refused a stake in the company.

So the hype machine is roaring away, and most signs point to an unveiling this week (possibly Wednesday the 15th) by Google. *According to a Forbes report, Google will announce their new Android OS on the 15th. The reveal is said to include both the new Android operating system (codenamed “L”) and the new Nexus phone (codenamed “Shamu”). This is exciting news for Android users as the Nexus line generally represents a harmonious integration of the latest and greatest in mobile technology and a pure Android experience. This is even more exciting with the launch of a new OS.

Now there are some people that will either prefer iOS or enjoy conforming to a doctored Android experience. I like to call these people the “blonde jocks” — they mean well, they just don’t know any better. So if you prefer contaminated Android, the new Nexus is probably not as exciting. Look you Blohn Jochs, go ahead and pre-order that Samsung S6, I heard it is the #nextbigthing. No offense to blonde jocks, Biff (batter up!) is a true Bro. For everyone else, here is a teaser trailer from Google:

Not much to go on, but it looks like Google is getting in on the phablet craze. They seem to tease a larger phone, which makes a lot of sense. With Samsung’s Note series and Apple’s Iphone Plus, the phabulous phablet trend seems here to stay. Early rumors suggest the new Nexus phone will be built by Motorola and will have a bigger screen with a 2k resolution. The phone will be powered by a Snapdragon 805 quadcore SoC and will run the new Android L. What do you think about the phablet trend? Are you excited for Google’s announcement? Post your thoughts in the comments section below… j/k  j/k… I know only you are reading this, Zanahoria. You don’t have to fake write a comment. I mean if you are going to swear that you are not really my wife… I WILL TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU!

Fact – People that read Vivid Karet.com score very well on the wonderlic.

The next FTF will feature a little NBA preview and what Kevin Durant’s injury means for the West. *Spoiler: Westbrook is going to break the season record for most field goal attempts* Please, if you haven’t already, check out all the different content we have on VividKaret. You can  follow me on twitter @FaceTheFacts22. Also, Klar and I will be coming out with a new Bro-est Bros You Knows pretty soon, so keep an eye out for that. For all things that are awesome, keep it here at Face The Facts.

October 8, 2013

21 Days until the NBA…

We are only 21 days away from the start of the NBA regular season.  And in honor of those 21 days, the greatest player to wear number 21.

March 1, 2013

Face the Facts – Episode 4: Make Him Feel The Pain!

Face The Facts

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Welcome to another addition of FTF, my bro-dacious blog on the wonderful and irrelevant. So it has been awhile, and I am sure many of you are wondering how things are going in La Casa de Vivid. Things are going splendidly. I have been married over a year now to the beautiful Zanahoria, and while I don’t show it enough, I love her very much and am so happy. I am constantly amazed by her and I am thoroughly humbled at the thought of how much patience she must possess to deal with me.

Living in DC has been a blast. I find myself thinking of this city as home now. When we leave this will have been a very special and memorable stop in our lives. My flatmate and Chtulhu have done an excellent job completing the quadrangle of power (TMed by Zanahoria). They hold a very unique place in the hearts of my wife and I. As I have started to adopt this city as my new home, I too have started to view my flat-mate and his rice-rocket-racing-demon-troll of a wife, as family.  They are about as kind and respectful as flatmates get and they get down 90’s style just about as well as anybody short of…

Fact- The brain, which serves as the interpreter of pain for the body’s pain sensitive nerve tissues, itself cannot experience the pain as it is the only part of the body without these nerves. 

The “feel the pain” is an homage to my awesome (and sometimes oddly sadistic) dad. A few years ago when I was in law school in Florida, my family came down to visit during the holidays. Naturally (as people tend to do in Florida) we went to the beach where my brothers and Zanahoria decided to bury me in the sand. Before long I was basically entombed in the sand with only my head free. It was all fun and games until my dad walked over, balled a large clump of wet sand, picked it up, and proceeded to drop it with gravitational might… on my privates. As he did this, he yelled out “make him feel the pain!” He couldn’t stop chuckling after that, he was practically  giddy with evil. So my dad can bring the pain.

As they say, like father-in-law like daughter-in-law. So everyone knows my wife is a super ninja warrior princess. She has  a battle cry like Xena and her approach to fighting is Lawless. A while back, inspired by my viewing of the movie Warrior (I have a review of the movie further down in the blog), I decided I needed to teach my wife a little mma in case some one was stupid enough to mug her. We do live in the city, and in the city one faces inner city pressure. So I gave her some boxing gloves and I put on mitts to teach her some basic punches. She started punching me and not the mitts.

After recovering from the kidney shots, I told her she should take it easy and just try and hit the mits. She scoffed at me and replied that if she was going to learn to fight she might as well learn to hit some one instead of giving them really accurate “fist bumps.” So I decided to switch gears and offered to teach her some jiujitsu. She was having none of it, she wanted to drop some Z-Bombs. I told her that she needed a foundation before she threw haymakers. She said fine, “teach me the basics and I’ll fill in the bleeders.” Yeah… she said that. So if someone ever decides to attack my wife, you are going to end up like this guy:

 

Filling in the bleeders

Filling in the bleeders

 

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Zanahoria happened, bro

 

Fact – Tom Hardy actually weighed less in The Dark Knight Rises as Bane than he was as Tommy in Warrior (movie review #spoilers)

First of all, I nominate this movie for guy’s night. Yeah, I like it that much. The movie is about two brothers, one is a marine and the other brother is a science teacher, dealing with their emotions through mma. They train to compete in a grand prix style tournament that features the best mma fighters in the world. So naturally these two guys get in, because there are only like a handful of fighters in the entire freaking world. I mean, this is a world that references the UFC and Strikeforce! Was George St. Piere and Chael Sonnen just on vacation? Was Jon Jones ducking another fight? Where was Anthony Johnson? Surely he has a lot of free time after being dismissed from the UFC. Wait… he was in the movie.

Anyways, as one would expect from an M Night Shyamalan movie, there is a twist (spoiler alert) and the brothers meet up in the finals. Except that that really isn’t a twist and I’m pretty sure the trailers all show the brothers touching gloves while the commentator says “you won’t believe this… but the men fighting in the finals are brothers!” Twist! The announcer isn’t talking about siblings; he was just stunned that two black guys made it to the finals when only one black guy had entered the tournament (Anthony Johnson). Oh, and the movie was awesome and not in 3d, so yeah it was obviously not a Shyamalan movie.

 

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Review: This was a solid film that for better or worse, drew comparisons to Rocky. One of the greatest disservices to future movie watchers is how much of a caricature Rocky has become in today’s culture. The six sequels, the cartoonish portrayal of the rival boxers, the six pack Sly hopped up on HGH, and the inclusion of 80’s music later on in the series has led to a self over-saturation, causing many to stick Rocky in the notorious “fun” guy movie genre.  Guys, it wasn’t a great film because of the egg drinking and the over the top training montages, that was only 99%.

At the core of the OG Rocky was the very essence of the American dream. Here was a guy, down on his luck, and all he had was the love of a woman, his faith in God, and his ability to work harder than the next guy. His success encapsulated everything a hard working American believed in, that in this country, anyone has the potential to be great; you just need faith and a can-do spirit. That classic and iconic movie, the movie that won best picture, is the caliber of film I believe more closely resembles Warrior.

Warrior

The two protagonist in Warrior are estranged brothers. Tommy is an intense ex-marine bad-ass and Brendan is a good-natured but down-on-his-luck science teacher. Brendan also happens to have had a brief career in the UFC. Both are equally appealing to the audience due to the solid performances put in by the actors. Each has his own reason’s for fighting, and the movie does a good job of balancing the characters and making it hard to root for one over the other.

The film’s first two acts do a good enough job of filling in the characters back stories while moving the story forward, though there may be some cliché moments involved in these acts including it’s very own training montage. The last act, which centers around the big Sparta tournament, may be some of the most adrenaline pumping fun I have had at the movies. It was a rolling crescendo of violence; a brutally realistic representation of mixed martial arts fighting.

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This wasn’t just a movie that reminded us of how hard it is sometimes to make it day in and day out with so much uncertainty in the world,  this was a movie that took you through the hardship and let you celebrate in the triumph. I’m not saying this was a movie that got me out of my seats cheering, but that is because I have the common decency not to stand up and block the view of the person behind me.  The movie served as a communal cathartic release for an audience that most likely empathized with the hardship of a tough economy and the underdog mentality that comes with it. Many relate to the pain that grudges can cause, not just to the person but their family. To that end, there is a mix of appreciation and recoil at how powerfully this movie captures the struggles of the human experience.

I went to an undergraduate university that had a great books program. I had a professor, Dr. Dougherty, that would say that many other schools questioned why we read the same old classics over and over. He posited that we do it because there is something there that makes it a classic, a message or a lesson that is timeless and is as important and relevant today as it was back then. So there may be a few complaints about this movie rehashing some of the same “redemption” movie tropes and sport clichés . You may feel that way while you watch it; but when it is over, you may be thinking you have just watched a classic.

5 out of 5 Vivid Karets:

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Fact – Tom Hardy’s fight scenes were generally short because of his limited knowledge of mma.

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Fact – They were originally planning to CGI Bane’s physique, but decided it would be more realistic if he looked strong but not bodybuilder strong. Criminal masterminds plotting terrorist attacks have limited time to lift and plan their diet.

Fact – Dennis Rodman didn’t play a second of high school basketball, and was only 5’11” when he graduated.  He grew eight more inches by the time he was twenty, at which point he quit his job as a janitor at the DFW airport to play basketball at Cooke County Junior College.

So the NBA trade deadline past with very little movement. Players that were rumored to be on the move (Josh Smith/Al Jefferson/Marcin Gortat) stayed put. The teams that were suppose to be active (Jazz/Hawks/Nets) didn’t do anything. The Bucks acquired another short shooter in JJ Reddick, and the Suns united twin brothers Markeiff Morris and Marcus Morris. BTW, Zanahoria pointed out that if Markeiff ever stinks in a game you can always say “Markieff, more like Marqueef!” (she’s so funny).

The biggest move at the dead line involved my Houston Rockets trading Patrick Patterson, Cole Aldrich, and Tony Douglass for Thomas Robinson, Francisco Garcia and Tyler Honeycutt. Here is what the sport’s media had to say about the trade:

What do you think of Houston fleecing Sacramento for Thomas Robinson? Why do teams continue to trade with Dork Elvis? Everyone, STOP TRADING WITH DORK ELVIS!!!!! -Bill Simmons *Dork Elvis refers to Rockets GM Daryl Morey’s

That was a shocker. The highest-value player here is obviously Robinson. – Zack Lowe

Rockets definitely win this trade, Robinson helps their rebounding and defense now. – David Aldridge

So yeah it was nice trade for the Rockets. It gives the team more financial flexibility moving forward. Patrick Patterson was on a rookie contract with his option coming up (he has earned a bigger payday) and Thomas Robinson still has up to 5 years on a rookie salary. The rookie salary is the most valuable commodity on an NBA team. This is because it is fixed salary based on the CBA, not a percentage of the cap based on the free market.

Because basketball is a young man’s game, many skilled rookies can come in and contribute like a veteran by their 2nd and 3rd year. That sort of production could warrant a salary three times as much once the rookie contract ends. Now the Rockets can sign a max player, have money for extra depth, and they have another draft pick. Watch the Rockets make a hard run for Dwight Howard during the summer. While they didn’t improve their chances at a playoff push this season, they have a very bright future.

Speaking of the Rockets, my buddy Klar hooked me up with tickets to go see the Rockets play the Wizards last weekend. This was double the awesome because I get to watch the Rockets and I get a chance at personal redemption. What do I mean by redemption? Well a year ago, we went to a Knicks/Wizards game pre-Linsanity. I may have been the only person in the building that knew who Jeremy Lin was. When he left the court to walk back to the locker room I stood at the railing to say hello and get a high five. IGNORED!!! Like flat out “I won’t even acknowledge your existence” ignored. I went to a GSP dark place in my head after that. Fast forward a year later and I finally get a chance to totally redeem myself. I will not be ignored:

Oh wellos…there is always next year. So he was probably just afraid of making his bestie Channy P jealous, right? Channy P gives a very interesting handshake BTW.

Fact – Research shows guys with best friends live longer

To all the bros out there and their bromantic endeavors, I present to you the second best bromance (behind UD besties 2008) Jeremy Lin and Chandler Parson:

Fact – Reading VividKaret.com blogs makes you a cooler person

Tune in to the next Face The Facts where FTF will look at the future of gaming. Be sure to check all the new fresh blogs up on VividKaret.com. Follow VivdKaret on twitter @VividKaret #quadrangleofpower and follow Face The Facts @facethefacts22 #thingsthatareawesome. Quick shout out to the guys that are having a bachelor party at Casa de Vivid. Tonight will be fun but it is nothing compared to finding the one you love and spending the rest of your life with them. Truly, congratulations!

Peace Outside