Archive for ‘Zanahoria’

October 28, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 11: Thus Spoke Zanahoria

Fact: John Denver was born Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. and changed his last name because someone suggested that “Deutschendorf” was too long to fit on the marquee.

When I was a kid my mother would record us singing songs. Some were made up, some were Vietnamese, and some were apparently John Denver. We had a sweet moment the other day, when she texted me that “our favorite song” had come on the radio. I had one of those “d’oh” moments as an adult when I realized that the lines “Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy/Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry/Sunshine on the water looks so lovely/Sunshine almost always makes me high” weren’t just my mom’s sweet lyrical nothings.

Fact: The NBA season started today, beginning the one week of the year in which you could theoretically watch major league Baseball, Football, and Basketball at the same time.

Lebron/Irving/Love- Cleveland's "LIL 3"

Lebron/Irving/Love – Cleveland’s “LIL 3”

Hoop fans everywhere are excited. Is the new “LIL 3” (COINED) of Love, Irving, and Lebron championship material? Are the Spurs going to 2peat for the first time in franchise history? Will the NBA learn how to use italics to improve the readability of its instant replay rule changes? We will have to see, especially about those LIL 3 (my wife came up with that and she thinks it’s genius…which it kind of is). Pretty big news in the NBA last week, the NBA teams rejected a proposal that would have re-done the draft process. Check out Bro-est Bros for their take on a potential draft revisal. Also, the Mavericks have Chandler Parsons now… you’re welcome.

Fact: Chinchillas are crepuscular rodents. Crepuscular means “of, resembling, or relating to twilight.”


What a handy word to now have in my lexicon. However, in zoology it specifically means appearing or active in twilight. I’d make a movie joke right now but I’d like to think I’m better than that. We’ll be having a post about Nacho, our crepuscular rodent, in a few days. He’s been much feistier lately now that his cage is (almost) as big as our bathroom. He indulges in many crepuscular activities.

Fact – People that Vivid are unusually photogenic. 




OK, I’m going to watch the game. LET’S GO ROYALS! Man, this KC crowd is awesome! Up 8-0 on Lorenzo Cain’s double! WAHOO! *Royals Win!

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October 14, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 7: An Ode to Cowboys

Fact – The Cowboy Code was the foundation for the modern American Bro Code.


Few figures capture the hearts and minds of the American public more so than the cowboy. His free spirit and rugged toughness seemed to personify America herself. The frontier conquering cowboy had a certain dana sais quoi (per FTF #6, or wife will freak out that I didn’t spell je ne sais quois correctly), and has truly earned his place in American mythology, right next to the almighty apple pie. While cowboys have been photoshopped by Hollywood and turned into alcoholic, gun-slinging outlaws, being a cowboy actually meant living an honorable, and often humble lifestyle.

Many books and movies depict the Wild West as a chaotic time marked by vicious gun fights and bank robberies, but the truth is the violent crime rate was low during that time period. Historically low in fact. In the year 1880, the cow town hubs of Dallas, Texas and Leadville, Colorado recorded zero homicides. In fact, between 1870-1885, the cities of Abilene, Ellsworth, Wichita, and Dodge City recorded 45 homicides. That is a rate of 1 per 100,000 citizens for a 15 year span. Furthermore, 16 of the 45 homicides were recorded as authorized by law enforcement. In terms of violent crime, that makes the “Wild” West era the most peaceful period in American History.


Don’t be fooled by their tough and weathered exteriors; cowboys were not the murdering blood-thirsty bandits they are portrayed as in film. They were gentlemen, and they lived by their code. The cowboy code was a set of rules all cowboys abided by. The commandments of the Wild West, these rules helped ensure justice and civility in an otherwise untamed state of nature. The cowboy code encouraged all cowboys to treat each other as compañeros,  to treat all women with dignity and kindness, and to treat their profession with vigor and integrity. Many cowboys traversed the American Frontier with little more than their hats, their horses, and their code… satisfied by honest-to-goodness hard work and the most beautiful sunsets on God’s green Earth. One interesting rule in the cowboy code: cowboys were encouraged to nod instead of wave while on horseback. That’s right–the cowboy invented the original bro nod.

It is with these American icons that the Dallas professional football team proudly shares its namesake. This is America’s team, and for the first time in what seems like an eternity, America can be proud again. These Cowboys took on the reigning Superbowl champions. Even more daunting was that fact that they played on Seattle turf. What happened next was Washington crossing the Delaware. A supposed weakness going into the season, the Cowboys defense contained and pummeled Russell Wilson & company all game long.

Stop hating on the Cowboys D folks, they have replaced the yield sign that is Morris Claiborne with the stop sign that is Orlando Scandrick. The Seahawks were getting run over by Carr. They would get to Church and be baptized by bruises. For the most part, Lynch was least mode. The super speedy Harvin was held to ZERO yards receiving. If you were stupid enough to play him against the Cowboys D, you were rewarded with ZERO points in standard leagues. The Cowboys D punched the Seahawks in the face, and gave them a star-shaped black eye. On the flip side, the Superfriends Dez/Romo/Witten/Murray dominated the Legion of…Whom(?). As in, who were we suppose to fear? Richard Sherman? He got trucked over and over again by Dez and Murray. Earl Thomas? He missed Murray so badly on a tackle he wound up on a milk carton. Until this game, there were only rumors that you could run on the Seahawks:Demarco

Well Murray TMZed that mother. Yeah, the Boys sure looked good on Sunday. Now, don’t go out and pre-order your Superbowl Champions t-shirt just yet. We still have more than half a season to go. But for the first time in a long time, we can put the 5-1 “Cowboys” and “Superbowl contenders” in the same sentence, and not be accused of taking Mr. Mugatu crazy pills. How bout them Boys!?

Fact – Android would have bankrupted in 2003 if not for a cash donation of $10,000 by Steve Perlman, who refused a stake in the company.

So the hype machine is roaring away, and most signs point to an unveiling this week (possibly Wednesday the 15th) by Google. *According to a Forbes report, Google will announce their new Android OS on the 15th. The reveal is said to include both the new Android operating system (codenamed “L”) and the new Nexus phone (codenamed “Shamu”). This is exciting news for Android users as the Nexus line generally represents a harmonious integration of the latest and greatest in mobile technology and a pure Android experience. This is even more exciting with the launch of a new OS.

Now there are some people that will either prefer iOS or enjoy conforming to a doctored Android experience. I like to call these people the “blonde jocks” — they mean well, they just don’t know any better. So if you prefer contaminated Android, the new Nexus is probably not as exciting. Look you Blohn Jochs, go ahead and pre-order that Samsung S6, I heard it is the #nextbigthing. No offense to blonde jocks, Biff (batter up!) is a true Bro. For everyone else, here is a teaser trailer from Google:

Not much to go on, but it looks like Google is getting in on the phablet craze. They seem to tease a larger phone, which makes a lot of sense. With Samsung’s Note series and Apple’s Iphone Plus, the phabulous phablet trend seems here to stay. Early rumors suggest the new Nexus phone will be built by Motorola and will have a bigger screen with a 2k resolution. The phone will be powered by a Snapdragon 805 quadcore SoC and will run the new Android L. What do you think about the phablet trend? Are you excited for Google’s announcement? Post your thoughts in the comments section below… j/k  j/k… I know only you are reading this, Zanahoria. You don’t have to fake write a comment. I mean if you are going to swear that you are not really my wife… I WILL TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU!

Fact – People that read Vivid score very well on the wonderlic.

The next FTF will feature a little NBA preview and what Kevin Durant’s injury means for the West. *Spoiler: Westbrook is going to break the season record for most field goal attempts* Please, if you haven’t already, check out all the different content we have on VividKaret. You can  follow me on twitter @FaceTheFacts22. Also, Klar and I will be coming out with a new Bro-est Bros You Knows pretty soon, so keep an eye out for that. For all things that are awesome, keep it here at Face The Facts.

October 10, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 6: Sunday School Adventures

Fact – One of the script changes in Return of the Jedi: the climactic battle was suppose to take place on a planet of Wookiees instead of Ewoks.

Welcome to another edition of Face the Facts. It has been a long hiatus, but we are happy to be back and look forward to spreading more awesome! Passion Nate, the host of the Bro-est Bros You Knows, was really pushing for me to write another one… and you just can’t say no to a man that exclaims everything he says. Apparently Passion Nate can’t do an indoor podcast with an indoor voice. Which I suppose is par, Emotion Al can’t tell a funny joke on a funny podcast.

Ripping off Sonic commercials for comedy is like stealing Trent Richardson’s moves for evasiveness. It is like copying Florida Georgia Line lyrics for subtly. It is like borrowing from Michael Bay movies for tips on writing a good script… or enjoying a Michael Bay movie for the witty banter… or watching Michael Bay movies to not have your childhood completely crushed…

Apparently using original  source designs is as impossible as a 99 cheese pizza.

Apparently using original source designs is as impossible as a 99 cheese pizza.

Also, have ya’ll ever heard of Yahoo sports fantasy? That’s like a more entertaining and informative version of the first half of your podcasts. Also, why would you bring on the fashion turkey, and not ask one question about fashion? WHAT DO I WEAR THIS FALL?! I did like Dana White’s appearance; his voice on the podcast had a certain dana sais quoi (copyrighting that one).

Fact – Washington D.C. averages more rainfall a year than Seattle.

So how has life been in the District? Life has been great. My wife, she of the beautifully crafted head, is still wonderful and my flat mates are still flat. I had a brother graduate from college and another one (the original fact facer) is about to go to college. My wife pointed out to me the other day; she and I have been in a relationship for the majority of my youngest brother’s life. So it seems the majority of my youngest brother’s life also coincides with the happiest time in mine. My parents are doing well. My in-laws are doing well. Quick shout out to

Blip Roasters, the hottest new motorcycle-themed coffee roaster in KC. They roast high quality coffee imported from farm communities in South America where farmers are paid fair and competitive wages. The best coffee beans in the world roasted by socially conscious coffee enthusiasts. Fill your cups with Blip Roasted coffee and your minds with social awareness.
We have moved off of world famous Wisconsin Ave and moved on to solar system famous Massachusetts Ave. The new apartment complex has a bunch of cute children, a pool (category: things that are awesome), and a front desk man named Justice (He dishes out our packages with a little help from Truth and American way). My life in the District is the opposite of sports in the District (See Washington Post article on Washington “sports team”). Banh mi is getting really popular here, so that’s cool. I told my mom she should open up shop here. It would BANK!

Fact- The Hebrew term for Joseph’s “multicolored” coat, kethoneth passim, more accurately translates into Joseph’s “long sleeved” coat. Credit to my Gal Pal for this fact.

So I recently had the privilege of subbing in for Ms. Cthulhu’s Sunday school class. She was out of town terrorizing a wedding (congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Hill) and I valiantly volunteered to teach her class. More accurately, my wife and I volunteered to teach her class. Even more accurately, my wife volunteered and taught the class, I volunteered and handed out Dum Dum’s, an important if unglamorous task. I pulled out all of the root beer flavored pops which looked to be suspiciously coated in Ebola. I am as thoughtful as I am valiant, and I “disposed” of the questionable candies. Upon further anecdotal examination, the questionable pops were Ebola free, to the great relief of all parties involved. Teaching kids about the Catholic faith is fun and filled with lol’s. From watching kids head explode trying to understand the mysteries of the Holy Trinity (category: things that are awesome) to having kids question the logistics of the Adam and Eve populating the entire planet (just Google it!) the non-stop entertainment was almost worth waking up early on Sunday. The fun thing is, kids understand certain life maxims in their most unadulterated form. We should be good and treat others better, because God rewards those that are good. As adults we still live by these maxims, but they have been broken and molded into submission by our experiences.

I mean, look kid, this isn’t strictly algorithmic. Turning the other cheek isn’t always pragmatic, just ask my flat mate’s younger brother. Life isn’t a coin operated machine… wait… maybe it is, but it’s more like an old quarter hungry laundry machine that decides to shut down mid cycle leaving your life wet and ill-prepared for the dryer. Let me start over, life isn’t a videogame (Genesis/Generation/Next Gen) where you play a level well and you get a PlayStation trophy. Well sometimes it is, like you can do well at something and get a literal trophy. Hmmm, maybe these kids understand it better than I do. I mean I know I am sure that I am kind of sure of what I believe in. I know that I don’t believe in Karma. At least I don’t believe in a strictly scientific Karma. I believe my God is an Awesome God,

(you’re welcome {Kobe System} for the ear-worm) but I don’t necessarily believe my God is an axiomatic God. I won’t get compliments just by giving compliments. But maybe by being the kind of person that encourages others through honest praise, I open myself up to the increased probability of reciprocity. Maybe I just don’t like to think of God in terms of a mathematic formula. If I am being truly honest with myself, maybe I am just upset I am an Asian that is ungifted at math (My dad would call math a “piece of vanilla cake.” Did you really need to specify the cake, Bo? I mean it can be any cake, generally speaking, and make the point, right? Where is this going? *end tangent). Maybe I also find my mind getting blown trying desperately to pursue truth and comprehend purpose. Look, I do understand these life maxims more completely than these kids. I am an adult, technically speaking. I just admire how little effort it takes for them to be genuine. So here is my corny trope-ish conclusion, learning is fundamental. Sunday is still fun day even at Sunday school.

Fact- An estimated 156 wives and 275 husbands were convicted of killing their spouses each year.

So I come home and find two trays of delicious looking baked goods prepared by my wife and Cthulhu. They are on the stove next to a box of detergent. Do you:

A. Assume that the baked goods and the detergent are two separate endeavors and enjoy a delicious snack
B. Assume that your wife finally got sick of telling you to look at the car, and take a hard look at yourself
C. Assume that that Cthulhu finally had enough of my flat mate calling her Channing in his sleep, and avoid the snack.
D. Assume that Cthulhu is perfectly content with her circuitous relationship with my flat mate but still sucks at cooking, and avoid the snack.
E. Be offended that baked goods are not Bro enough and toss them out. Fry bacon, and leave that out on the stove for others to enjoy.

Yeah… most definitely E. Wives out there, please don’t put a box of detergent next to freshly prepared food after your husbands have read Gone Girl. Twist…. this is being written by Zanahoria. I mean me, the amaZing Zanahoria.

Fact- People that visit Vivid are good looking

Next FTF will cover some Android L and Android Silver news. We will also look at some of the big (literally) smartphones that are coming out. I will give my review of the PS4 version of Destiny. Also I was kidding earlier, I love Passion Nate and Emotion Al, I just wish they wouldn’t run off every time we start the Brocast. Like seriously guys, where do you go? Are you comparing macros in your protein shake? Anyways, check out my podcast The Bro-est Bros You Knows. Klar and I try to talk about the issues while keeping it Bro. Until next time… when in doubt, Face The Facts!

February 4, 2014

Fun in the freezing weather

We took advantage of our below-freezing weather, and have been using the great outdoors as a freezer to test out our Ice Bottle Chiller Mold from Williams-Sonoma.

ice mold

January 25, 2014

Vivid Karet Vodka Series: Strawberry, Part II

So after a few hours of making our strawberry vodka, the strawberries started looking icky and white.  So we poured the vodka sans strawberries into a cute decanter.

vodka decanter

Instead of mixing with sprite or ginger ale as planned, we decided to mix with coconut soda.  It tastes exactly like strawberries!

strawberry vodka

January 21, 2014

Vivid Karet Vodka Series: Strawberry

strawberry vodka

We go through a lot of vodka, so it was time to make another one.  This time, we infused our vodka with organic frozen strawberries from Whole Foods.  If you are using a wide mouth container, be sure to cover it so it doesn’t evaporate.  We plan to mix it with ginger ale, sprite, or seltzer.  We’ll to add a splash of lime. 

Happy snow day! 

January 12, 2014

Vivid Karet Vodka Series: Grapefruit and Raspberry

Grapefruit and raspberries

This week, we made vodka infused with grapefruit and raspberries.  We used a cup of frozen raspberries, because it’s what we had on hand, and we peeled one grapefruit before we put it in our handle of vodka.

We recommend using Skyy vodka, because it comes in a blue bottle.  The raspberries will turn white and look gross, and the blue bottle will hide them.  After you put in the fruit, we put the little plastic piece at the top of the bottle back in.  This kept stray raspberries from coming out when we poured it.

grapefruit raspberry

We mixed with one-part vodka, one-part ginger ale, and added some more frozen raspberries. Enjoy!

July 26, 2013

Vivid Karet Vodka Series – Cucumber

Tonight we bring you the epic adventures of Vivid Karet.

We will bring you knives.
We will bring you wood.
We will bring you carbonated beverages.

Let us be clear.  The knives are for cutting vegetables.  The wood is the medium upon which we cut the vegetables.  The carbonated beverages… well just wait and see.

How to make cucumber vodka – a refreshing summer drink.

Cucumber Vodka 1

1. Cut up your cucumber.


2. Send your husband/roommate out to get some vodka.


3. Pick a fun water bottle to use as a container.
4. Add the cucumber to the vodka.

5. …Let sit for at least seven hours.

6. Maybe two hours.

Cucumber Vodka 4


7. Mix:
Two shots ginger ale or sprite
One shot cucumber vodka

There was major disagreement about which we liked better.
Marchewka and Choiloi liked the ginger ale, and Zanahoria and Klar liked the sprite best.

A special shout out must go to our friend Michael D. who originally inspired our infusion series.

May 31, 2013

Dolphins and Discourse

I am an avid NPR listener. It’s great to feel somewhat on top of things, and Ira Flatow’s calming voice has worked me through a number of D.C. traffic-induced moments of rage and terror. I commute a half hour each morning and evening, and normally welcome the way that NPR helps rouse my brain from its comfortable pre-coffee state of zombie.

Its politics are mild enough, and when it gets too polarizing in one direction or the other, I can always change the channel or turn off the radio. It rarely happens. One day driving to work, it did. And since it happens with such infrequency, and the story was so ridiculous, it stuck with me.

A month or so later, a very dear friend was getting married, and a group of us gathered the day before her wedding for a delicious picnic brunch. We were making small talk, and I shared a story I’d heard on NPR about Navy-retired dolphins who were being rehabbed and recorded so that their war stories could be related to future generations, once we learn how to interpret Dolphin-speak. “I’m all for the government supporting rehabbed dolphins,” I concluded (and I am–spend a few years searching out underwater mines, and I’ll feed you fish for the rest of your life, too), “but I think it’s a bit ridiculous that they’re recording them.”

“But you didn’t tell the best part!” a couple of fellow NPR fans exclaimed.

“Oh? What’s better than rehabbed war veteran dolphins?”

“It was for April Fools!”

Yes. Apparently I was one of the few people who turned the station, and didn’t catch the tail end of the segment in which the “professional” they were interviewing said “We have no (bleep) idea what these dolphins are saying. They could just be shooting the (bleep) or singing or talking smack about seals. We have no idea.” You know, the part of the story in which it became clear that it was all tongue-in-cheek. I also didn’t catch the re-run the next day, in which they explained their prank.

So–I WAS fooled! It worked, and I was had! You should read the transcript, though, because it’s great, and would make an excellent piece of propaganda to incense your stodgy older relatives at the next family get-together, or entertain your friends on your next picnic brunch. Just remember that your punch line should be that it was a joke. And if you forget, blog about it afterwards, so everyone knows you’re not insane.

March 6, 2013

Face the Facts – Episode 5: The Amazing Spandaman and Adventures with Waffles.

Face the Facts

Welcome to another edition of FTF, my scrumtrulescent  blog on the wonderful and irrelevant. I’m going on a trip so there won’t be another FTF for a few weeks. I’ll be sure to fill you in on the the goodies from our adventures overseas as soon as I get back State-side. In the rare case that I don’t make it back, I wanted to include my will in this FTF. So here goes:

To my brother Lam, I give you all of my videogame equipment and the board game Cranium (to get smarter). To my brother Binh, I give you my headphones and protein shaker (to get stronger). To my flat-mate Klar, I give you my Bowflex (to get swole-er). To Cthulhu, you can have any extra toilet cleaning supplies I have in my bathroom (because go screw yourself evil Cthulhu). To my wonderful wife, I give you everything else. Oh yeah, and to my buddy Lt. Dan, I give you my brain pod and the remaining balance of my graduate school debt.

Fact – There really is no such thing as a “Belgium Waffle.” It was simple a marketing tactic to sell the “Brussels Waffle”to Americans who were bad at geography. What many mistakenly call a Belgium Waffle is simply a Brussels waffle made with American waffle ingredients 

So Zanahoria told me the other day that we had some ground beef and potatoes that we needed to use up before our trip. We decided to make waffles out of them. This is what happened:

1. We busted out the Mouli, a vintage French grater we have courtesy of Mummo.




2. Then we went SHREDDER on those potatoes and seasoned it with a touch of salt and pepper.



3. After that, Zanahoria seasoned the meat with an assortment of delicious spices.




4. We mashed it all together an balled them up.



5. Next we heated the waffle maker and put the ingredients in.



6. Viola! I present to you your meat and potatoes… in waffle form.




So they were fairly easy to make and were quite tasty.We are  now thinking of hosting a “you bring it and we will waffle it” party. Think of the possibilities! Brownie waffles, Cookie Waffles, Cheese Waffles… we could even combine Chicken and Waffles and make Chicken Waffles! Mind Blown!

Fact – The resignation letter that Jarvis, Tony Stark’s butler, wrote in Iron Man No. 127 was actually artist Dave Cockrum’s real life resignation letter to Marvel. The only editing done  to the letter was changing “Marvel” to “Avengers.”

So Klar, Zanahoria, and I went out to sushi this past weekend. While we were waiting for our food I busted out some doodles. Zanahoria and Klar were both floored by the magnificence of my art work. Klar said he had never witnessed such grace in the form of a sketch. Zanahoria asked me if my hands had been blessed by the heavens. They wanted to know what inspired me to create such a wonderful work of art.

I told them what they were seeing was a character I had created during my childhood. His name was Spandaman, the awesomely radioactive sponge. They asked “did he have a sidekick?” Well, it was probably whoever my best friend was as a kid… so no. Not even an imaginary one? Well my imagination kind of sucked (superhero sponge?!) so that’s a negatron. Nonetheless, they just couldn’t get over how cool Spandaman looked. Klar said that I should turn it into a web comic serial on FTF. Zanahoria said that if Klar said it was a good idea than at least one person thought it was a good idea. She probably had more to say but sushi had just arrived.

So exciting news time! From now on FTF will be bringing you the web comic series “The Awesome Adventures of Spandaman!” FTF is proud to present to you…

The Awesome Adventures of Spandaman – No. 1 – The Obligatory Origin Story

*best to play this while viewing the comic 

Millions of years ago, an astroid containing radioactive fragments crashed into Earth. The astroid plunged deep into the Pacific Ocean, exploding on the ocean floor and causing massive tsunamis and earthquakes all around the planet. All of the surrounding wildlife perished from the initial blast except for single sea sponge. The radioactive elements had animated the sea sponge, giving it both incredible intelligence and lithe limbs!


My Note, page 16


The sponge walked over to a wrangled mess of kelp and seaweed and fashioned a cloak. He then made a utility belt out of bits of coral and shell. Parts of the astroid had forged together upon impact and created the coolest pair of sunglasses, which the sponge appropriated to mask the fact that he did not, in fact, have eyes. From then on the world would know that unassuming sponge as SPANDAMAN!

Tune in to future installments of FTF for the next Awesome Adventures of Spandaman… now with actual adventures!

Fact – George St. Piere’s chest tattoo is Kanji for “jujutsu.”

So unfortunately I’ll still be out of the country when the welterweight extravaganza (aka UFC 158) occurs. The co-main event of this card is about as good as it gets with GSP going against rival Nick Diaz and my boy Jonhy Hendricks going against Carlos Condit. I won’t go into to much detail as I am sure Klar will have a write-up of some sort as the match rolls around, but I will leave you with this promo:

GSP said in an interview that the tattoo on his chest means that there are two sides of him, and that he can be very rude and very nice. He finished by saying “I like to be rude when I fight.” The term jujutsu translated means “the gentle art.” Does this imply that the non-tatted side of his chest is the rude ying to his tatted side’s yang? Something tells me he won’t be “inspired” by his tattoo on March 16.

Fact – People that read are above average.

Tune in to the next Face The Facts where FTF will finally look at the future of gaming. Be sure to check all the new fresh blogs up on Follow VivdKaret on twitter @VividKaret #quadrangleofpower and follow Face The Facts @facethefacts22 #thingsthatareawesome.