Mad Max: Shiner Bock Road

 

In the distant past, the year 2013, there existed a most vile example of human filth, Immortan Dave. He terrorized the fantasy landscape with unmatched brutality. He was a merciless tyrant with a love for sperm-based euphemisms. He took what was a lush paradise and transformed it into a barren desert.

He outlawed women. The men were forced to be shirtless for his sick enjoyment. They even had to dye their skin white because he was uncomfortable with minorities. Surely 2013 will be remembered as the dark ages of the White Castle Fantasy Football League.

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He continued his mad rule, securing the most precious commodity in all the land… the running back. He stocked his team with this very rare asset and sat back to enjoy the ensuing chaos. Ask yourself reader, have you ever played Montee Ball thinking he would help your team?

By the time you wised up to the fact that Montee sucks Ball(s), Immortan Dave had already picked up CJ Anderson. He dragged the league down to the furthest depths of madness. He paraded his running backs in front of the league, declaring…

Immortan Dave: I have too many running backs to play them all. Anybody interested in a trade?

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Immortan Dave: Sike! All your running backs are belong to me. I’ll just let you watch them on my bench!

The League: Dude, you are such a douche.

The members of the White Castle League didn’t know what to do. Some even stopped having a will to win.

Sapulpa Stars: I have stopped having a will to win. Just let me keep Reggie Wayne and I’ll call it a season.

Bloody Mayhem: Rugby rugby packers rugby rugby aaron rugby packers rugby rugby FARVE YOU, Dave!

The Confessor: Bloody Mayhem is right, the tyrant must be dethroned.

The league now knew what needed to happen. In a crazy fantasy world, only the mad survive!

Vexed Viet: grunts* Dave must go down.

Final

(1) Vexed Viet 198

(2) Triumphant Davids166

 Even a god tyrant can bleed.

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The laws changed. Women were allowed in the league. Bloody Mayhem had an unbelievably good draft. Sapulpa Stars had a believably bad one. Team Face The Facts and Scared Hitless fielded competitive teams. Nothingfinerthana49er, true to form, drafted a bunch of 49ers.

There is an air of hope and optimism among league members, and the White Castle League is set to have the most epic season yet. The motto for the League this year… #downwithdave.

Vexed Viet: You should be despondent, Dave. I am coming for you!

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

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