Archive for September, 2015

September 30, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Ep. 14 – Abroham Lincoln!

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Here at the Bro-est Bros You Knows, we love to follow bro-litical news. We are, after all, a couple of brah-litics majors from the University of Design. That is why it cheeses us off that the candidates for the next election are so underwhelming. The Bro-est Bros try to inspire aspiring presidential candidates by paying broetic tribute to one of the most bro presidents ever, Abroham Lincoln.

The fantasy guru’s fantasy is in the house to recap week 3 fantasy football and brovide some tips to absolutely crush it week 4. BBYK also reviews the new NBA 2k16 video game, a Spike Lee joint! For those of you that just skip down to the end of the article on IGN to see the score:

4 out of 5 Vivid Karets:

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Check out BBYK’s Fantasy Football week 3 preview here.

Tweet us your fantasy questions @vividkaret or leave them in the comments below.

BBYK is on iTunes.

September 26, 2015

Face The Facts – Ep. 29: Where in the World is Kathulhu Winnebago? (Part II)

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First Where in the World is Kathulhu Winnebago?

Well, she darts around the globe from Dewey to Rehoboth
She’s a creepy creeping creature that’s been down to Cancun
She speeds away on her bike before you can catch your breath
Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

Seriously, where is Kathulhu Winnebago? Doesn’t she always seem to be on the go? What is her story? Well fellow reader, I am here to try to fill in as many of the blanks as I can. Here is my story about Kathulhu Winnebago.

You see, when I first met Kathulhu I was hanging out with Klar shooting hoops. Klar loved two things in life, basketball and Rocky movies. After our first encounter of the Marchewka kind, Klar had to face the facts. He made some drastic changes, and he may have lost a little bit of his soul (patch) along the way.

You see, scientifically, you lose just a little bit of your soul every time you breath out. This is why (again, according to science) we are influenced so heavily by those closest to us. Every time we breath back in, we breathe in a part of their soul fragments. You could just see how much Kathulhu influenced Klar. He loved three things now.

This sounds like the beginning of the story of a jaded best bud that lost his friend to a demon monster. It is not. Kathulhu never tried to impose herself nor did she try to sacrifice me to the dark lord. For a person who enjoys high speed cruising and intensely full schedules, Kathulhu is a very chill evil beast.

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There are two things that Kathulhu should be known for (her ability to destroy humanity aside), and that is how good she is at drinking coffee and how amazing she is at acquiring headaches. Seriously, this girl can pound back an incredible amount of coffee. Caffeine is very important when you have a schedule as jam packed as hers.

1:00 pm – IWP Staff meeting
1:30 pm – Lead a cult in ritualistic chanting
2:00 pm – Beat Vin Diesel in a drag race
2:30 pm – Send intern on Starbucks run
3:00 pm – Get a headache
??? pm – Still dealing with a headache
??? pm – My head! Life is so cruel
??? pm – What is the point of this much suffering
??? pm – It feels like it has been an eternity. This is my life now…
3:15 pm – Phone call with a donor

That’s basically Kathulhu in a nutshell. Many people may know her for mad bike riding skillz. The bike wasn’t this completely crazy addition to Kathulhu’s life. It was a natural evolution for a woman that values speed and efficiency.  Heck, even her bike has evolved. If you ever get to befriend Kathulhu, granted she doesn’t treat you as a snack, you will always have a ride to the airport. You will have someone so unrelentingly polite that it makes you puke. She would probably clean it up too, if she weren’t so squeamish. She squeals shrilly. She dances dangerously. She will always encourage you to be authentically you. That’s the only way she knows how to be. She will be your friend. I guess she is good at three things.

She is my very good friend. A fellow engine. I generally demonstrate how good of a friend she is to me by posting funny pictures of her. When Klar is out of town, I try to make it a point to tell her good night. This isn’t a big deal beyond the usual evening pleasantries, but it is also my way saying that, on the random chance we are surprise-attacked by ninjas tonight, I will protect you and my wife in what will probably be a most epic battle. You know… like I have your back, like I know you have mine.

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Happy Birthday to my good friend Marchewka. Here’s to you, you crazy sea monster.

September 25, 2015

Your Friday Jam: Is Back!

Guess who’s back, back again.  Klar is back, tell a friend.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bros and hoes, it is I, your purveyor of excellent music, back with another jam to kick-off an epic weekend.

Deciding what song to play this week was rather difficult.  Mac Miller has a new album that is quite good.  Brandon Flowers (of The Killers fame) released his second solo album earlier this year that I never got around to posting.  However, this spot has always been a “fly by the seat of my pants” area, and I usually just post whatever song I was jamming to that day.

This week is no different.  And while you should 100% listen to the above mentioned albums, this week’s jam is coming to you from Johnny Cooper.  Cooper combines the two excellent genres of red dirt country and alt-country, and does a brilliant job of it as you can hear from “Can’t Hold Onto You”, off his 2009 album Follow.

 

September 23, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Ep. 13 – American Broletariat

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Here at BBYK, we love us some ‘Merica. In fact, the alarm that wakes us up every morning is the sound of a bald eagle souring over the majestic Rocky Mountains. That’s why we are fans of fellow bro, John Cena, whose patriotism just red, white and blue us away.

In honor of all that makes America great, BBYK is here to talk about something very American. That’s right, American Football!

The bro-est bros talk fantasy football week 3, review Borderlands Handsome Jack Edition, and give a quick American history lesson. Fizz Ikkel stops by the studio to drop some… uhh… “fantasy” knowledge.

Check out the epic representation of the Bro-est Fantasy Football League.

Tweet us your fantasy questions @vividkaret

BBYK is on iTunes.

September 17, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Ep. 12 – Attack on Fantasy Football!

Bros, it is time to gear up for week two! Here at Bro-est Bros, we know that many of you are hurting for some help after some major injuries hit the league in week one. Perhaps you lost a star wide receiver (cough* Dez Bryant cough*) that was playing against giants. Well no worries, Ami-BROS, we have got you covered.

Look we understand that it can be daunting when you look up at your opponent’s lineup and see Odell Beckham Jr. against the lousy Falcons secondary. Or when you see that they have Aaron Rodgers against Tampa Bay’s efense…

Don’t sweat it, BBYK has your plan of Attack! Not only will BBYK help you with bro-vice on players you should avoid playing for week two, the Bro-est Bros also cover some free agents on the waiver wire that can be TITANS in your week two line-up.

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BBYK will be doing a fantasy football podcast weekly during the NFL season, so for all of you fantasy football needs, concerns, and desires… keep it tuned to BBYK.

Check out the epic representation of the Bro-est Fantasy Football League.

We are excited to debut BBYK’s first song (starts at 24:24) “Dave is into tight ends.”

Follow us on twitter @vividkaret

BBYK is on iTunes.

September 10, 2015

Mad Max: Shiner Bock Road

 

In the distant past, the year 2013, there existed a most vile example of human filth, Immortan Dave. He terrorized the fantasy landscape with unmatched brutality. He was a merciless tyrant with a love for sperm-based euphemisms. He took what was a lush paradise and transformed it into a barren desert.

He outlawed women. The men were forced to be shirtless for his sick enjoyment. They even had to dye their skin white because he was uncomfortable with minorities. Surely 2013 will be remembered as the dark ages of the White Castle Fantasy Football League.

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He continued his mad rule, securing the most precious commodity in all the land… the running back. He stocked his team with this very rare asset and sat back to enjoy the ensuing chaos. Ask yourself reader, have you ever played Montee Ball thinking he would help your team?

By the time you wised up to the fact that Montee sucks Ball(s), Immortan Dave had already picked up CJ Anderson. He dragged the league down to the furthest depths of madness. He paraded his running backs in front of the league, declaring…

Immortan Dave: I have too many running backs to play them all. Anybody interested in a trade?

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Immortan Dave: Sike! All your running backs are belong to me. I’ll just let you watch them on my bench!

The League: Dude, you are such a douche.

The members of the White Castle League didn’t know what to do. Some even stopped having a will to win.

Sapulpa Stars: I have stopped having a will to win. Just let me keep Reggie Wayne and I’ll call it a season.

Bloody Mayhem: Rugby rugby packers rugby rugby aaron rugby packers rugby rugby FARVE YOU, Dave!

The Confessor: Bloody Mayhem is right, the tyrant must be dethroned.

The league now knew what needed to happen. In a crazy fantasy world, only the mad survive!

Vexed Viet: grunts* Dave must go down.

Final

(1) Vexed Viet 198

(2) Triumphant Davids166

 Even a god tyrant can bleed.

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The laws changed. Women were allowed in the league. Bloody Mayhem had an unbelievably good draft. Sapulpa Stars had a believably bad one. Team Face The Facts and Scared Hitless fielded competitive teams. Nothingfinerthana49er, true to form, drafted a bunch of 49ers.

There is an air of hope and optimism among league members, and the White Castle League is set to have the most epic season yet. The motto for the League this year… #downwithdave.

Vexed Viet: You should be despondent, Dave. I am coming for you!

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

September 2, 2015

Bro-est Bros You Knows – Ep. 11 – The Good BRAHmaritan

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It is indeed a bro new world, and with that comes a bro new set of challenges to conquer. One such challenge that every bro must face is Fantasy Football. Don’t think you have what it takes to win? Think you are riffraff, just a street rat? We don’t buy that. If only you’d look closer. When the guys in your league want to rip you open and take you back, you have got to take a hint and you’ve got to face the facts. BBYK has got your back.

That’s right, the football season is upon us, and all the other bros around the country are getting ready with their eyes on the virtual prize… winning their fantasy football league. If you want to up your game, keep it tuned in to BBYK. The Bro-est Bros have got you covered for all of your draft day concerns with fantasy advice straight from the fantasy guru’s fantasy.

BBYK also drops some wisdom with their rendition of the parable of the good Brah-maritan. You’ve may have heard of the bro bible, but this is more like the actual Bible, interpreted by bros. Truly brofound stuff.

You can follow us on twitter @vividkaret

BBYK is on iTunes.

Here is a link to the Downtown video referenced in the podcast featuring the brotastic Macklemore and the epic Foxy Shazam.