Face The Facts – Episode 26: Houston Rocket Raccoon III

guardians_of_the_galaxy Fact: This series will be more entertaining than “the fight of our generation.”

You can read Houston Rocket Raccoon II here.

The Houston Rockets stormed into enemy territory, hoping to finish the war. The 3rd match was a spectacular offensive display by both teams. Having lost Parsons the Overpaid, Dirkula and the Mavericks responded with vengeance. He and Monta the Chucker led a furious attack.

However, they simply were not enough against Rocket Harden, who was in particularly splendid form. With help from Cormora, Smax, and all of his other teammates, Harden led the Rockets to a game 3 victory. Dwert did a number on Chandler the Disheartened, completely lighting up the boards.




The Mavericks were able to rally and win game four, but they too would fall prey to statistics. Nobody wins down 3-0… and the Mavericks would soon meet their fate.


HARDEN: Let’s go!

DWERT: I am Dwert!

CORMORA: Well, I’m so fancy!



The Mavericks fell in game five. Dirkula and Monta the Chucker were out-matched. The Rockets were moving on!

CUBAN: I don’t get it… that’s not a very good team over there. How can this happen? We value chemistry! We took their best player!

STAR WOLF: Hey Cubes, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…



Meanwhile, back at Rockets HQ, the Asset Collector admired his magnificent collection. Over the years, the Asset Collector had scoured the galaxy in search of hidden gems and undersized power forwards.



COLLECTOR: They mocked me, but its working… its finally working!

SMAX: That is a reasonable assessment.



COLLECTOR: YES! Oh my little assets, you of the efficiently high true shooting percentages!

HARDEN: Bro, take it easy… we’ve still got plenty of games to play.

And the Bearded One was correct… for lurking in the next round was another beast all together. These enemies were without shame, whiners of the highest caliber! They were the Clipauri, and they claimed to be the “digestive system of the playoffs.” They traveled from series to series destroying the will of their opponents with their non-stop complaining and embellishments.


The Houston Rockets take on the Clipauri in the Western Conference Semi-finals match up:





Fact: People the read Vivid Karet love Derby Day.

So the big weekend has come on gone. The Kentucky Derby was a blast and the favorite going in, American Pharaoh, took home the gold. There was an epic game seven between the Spurs and Clippers. Lastly, there was The Fight…

Keep collecting those checks Manny. The favorite won that one as well. You did well in Vegas this weekend betting on the favorite.  I actually got to go to game 3 of the Rockets/Mavs series with my brothers, and it was pretty awesome to get the W. You can follow me as I root on the Rockets @facethefacts22. Until next time, when in doubt… Face the Facts!


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