Archive for May, 2015

May 19, 2015

Face The Facts – Episode 28: Houston Rocket Raccoon V

avengers-concept

 Fact: The Houston Rockets advance to the Western Conference Finals for the first time since 1997!

You can read Houston Rocket Raccoon IV here.

The heroes of our tale completed the epic comeback over the menacing Clipauri! They led from start to finish and sent their fallen foes back to LA. Along the way, our heroes fought alongside some new allies. Their new level of trust in each other paid off remarkably on the court, as the Rockets teamed up to put on quite a game 7 show.

 

 

Capt. Pablo, an old war veteran, provided a lot of energy and leadership. Thorence, the god of hairstyle, slammed that basketball with the power of a thousand winds. How sweet it is!

 

473798316

 

THORENCE: What fine victory my fellow teammates. Let us be merry and celebrate!

IRON A-3-Za: We can go back to my place.

The heroes went back to Iron A-3-Za’s penthouse suite. Rocket Harden kicked off his shoes to relax, trying to just appreciate the moment. DJ A-3-Za put on some Aerosmith:

 

 

HARDEN: So Capt. Pablo, you are like super old right? Like really really really old. How are you still making those plays?

CAPT. PABLO: Mamma-Mia! The truth is-a… I’m-a takin’ da Supa Mario Serum-a. It-sa makin’ me feel-a the young again-a. I’m-a go for steals like-a da ball was a gold coin-a!

THORENCE: Your voice is high and shrill, like that of little girl. It is off-putting, but you are a worthy and brave combatant all the same.

Everything was going well when all off sudden the lights started to flicker. Then there was a loud crash. A mysterious figure loomed in the doorway.

IRON A-3-Za: Hey this our celebration, you need to get hell out of my house!

CULTRON: Where is your fearless leader, Rocket Harden?

HARDEN: I’m right here, ugly. What do you want?

CULTRON: HAHA… it is what you wanted. It is what you all wanted. The MVP award… I’ll take that first!

 

avengers-age-of-ultron-trailer-the-avengers-age-of-ultron-official-trailer-debuts-tomorrow-here-are-7-things-we-hope-to-see-png-219452

 

Now our heroes face their toughest test yet. Cultron and his army of robo-warriors have dominated the NBA on their way to the league’s best record. They were versatile, they had solid defense, and they could score in bunches.

HARDEN: What is the plan Agent Dream?

AGENT DREAM: You need to fo-cass! I once had to go against a top ranked Spurdra team led by David Wolfgang von Robinson after he won my MVP trophy.

HARDEN: What did you do?

AGENT DREAM: I dug deep and became unbeatable. I trusted in my skills and in my teammates. In the end, we prevailed. You are going against a very strong opponent, you will need to be in your finest form. You need to find that clutch gene that is in your DNA, and unleash it on the biggest stage of your career. Kill the boy, and let the Beard be born!

HARDEN: So I need to become unbeatable?

AGENT DREAM: Yes. You will also need some help.

 

 

FALCON JET: Clear the runways, the JET is incoming!

The Rockets travel into enemy territory riding the momentum of their last victory. These guys may be good, but the Rockets know they can beat them. They Believe!

 

Houston Rockets are set to face off against Cultron and the robo-warriors:

groot_and_rocket_raccoon-e1429296643958

Street-Fighter-Vs-Logo

screenshot-2015-01-25-15-43-29-avengers-2-age-of-ultron-ultron-s-army-to-be-designed-by-tony-stark-png-285241

 

Fact: People that read Vivid Karet should know be aware of how similar the current run is to the OG Clutch City!

The 95 Clutch City team won the first round in 5 games and came back from down 3-1 to win a 7 game series in the semis.They also went against a number one seeded team with the league MVP. Just saying. Hoping the good guys set the tone early and deliver a W tonight. After a great performance in game 7 against the Clippers, I will let Pablo do the honors:

 

CAPT. PABLO: Let’s-a Go!

avengers-concept

Full Rock-engers picture

May 15, 2015

Face The Facts – Episode 27: Houston Rocket Raccoon IV

Fact – Only 8 teams have come back from 3-1, and that list includes a Houston Rockets team that inspired CLUTCH CITY!

You can read Houston Rocket Raccoon III here.

The series started with the heroes once again defending their home turf, where they have been excellent. They were in good spirits after an expeditious dismantling of their last opponents, but our heroes were quickly humbled. It was clear from the start that their last opponent wasn’t very good, and the Clipauri posed a much greater threat.

They knew they were going against the Clipauri, but they didn’t take a moment to consider how the Clipauri were attacking with such a coordinated vengeance. They were too composed, too well orchestrated. Were the Clipauri capable of this on their own?

theavengers_lokisarrival

Of course! It was all a power play by Bloki, the god of flop. Bloki came out and inspired his Clipauri to victory. Splitting the home games, our heroes traveled to LA to win back home court. Our heroes needed to step up to match the trickery of Bloki.

BLOKI: Bow before me ants! I am Bloki and I am your ruler. As your great ruler I will command with the power of a Kia Optima, whose 200 horsepower rank it among the best in class in mid-size sedans 2015!

DWERT: I am Dwert?

BLOKI: Silence, it’s time to put a stop to you, much like the Kia Optima’s excellent braking system.

Knowing that they would need help, the Rockets called upon Iron A-3-za. While he came out guns blazing, Houston would still get blown out in both games in LA. Many galactic sporting experts wondered if they were done. There were idiots asking “what are we going to do, man?” Word on the galactic twitter-sphere was this was #chokecity part II.

loki_cover_photo_by_nancythompsonofelmst-d4yk76q

BLOKI: We are going to kill you just like the Kia Optima… because it is one killer car!

SMAX: We must stop this murderous mode of transport!!!

BLOKI: What? No… I mean that the car is sick!

SMAX: Should we contact a vehicular health care professional?

BLOKI: Dude… what is wrong with you? This is going to be too easy… like driving a Kia Optima.

The Rockets returned home knowing their backs were against the wall. Behind a stellar performance by Rocket Harden and Iron A-3-Za, the Rockets gave the Clipauri a taste of their own medicine. They needed that win, but it also meant returning to LA where they have not had success.

Smax and Cormora were headed to the team transport when from out of the shadows stepped…

nick_fury_captain_america_the_winter_soldier

SMAX/CORMORA: Agent Dream?!

AGENT DREAM: Indeed I am. Smax and Cormora, I need you guys to step up on the court and avenge the losses!

CORMORA: What?! So is this Avengers now? I thought this was a GOTG thing?

AGENT DREAM: I need you to fo-cass! You need to show more heart  on the court, and embody your new alter egos. Cormora, I need you to channel your cat like reflexes and become the Black Mobley. Smax, when you are filled with rage, I need you to fo-cass up and become the hulking Smash!

BLACK MOBLEY: Shouldn’t I be like the black Anderson Silva or the black Katie Couric? Never-mind, I like the digs… this is purrfect… wait NO… please don’t let that be my thing!

SMAX: Smash!

Hulk-and-Black-Widow

HARDEN: Okay, great… what about me Agent Dream?

AGENT DREAM: I didn’t become the leader I am today without learning to trust my teammates. Most days, men like us carry them. Sometimes, we need them to carry us. Only when you guys can trust each other and learn to play free as a team, will you attain Clutch City status.

Once again, the Clipauri pounced early. This time the Rockets battled back and it was a close contest at the midway point. It looked like the Rockets had a shot to win it. Then the third quarter of battle began, and Bloki led the Clipauri on an all out assault. The results of which left the Rockets bruised and reeling.

BLOKI: We are up by 19 near the end of the third. We have conquered your spirit! Kneel before your ruler and the Kia Optima’s 24mpg in the city!

SMAX… SMASH: Smash kneels before no flopper!

The forth quarter began… and the Smash was angry!

BLOKI: You dare stand before a God?

The Rockets dared, and they did it behind the hulking might of Smash!

SMASH: Splash! *shoots a three

the-avengers-best-moments-puny-god

They came back from 19 down to not only beat the Clipauri on their home floor, but they lapped them. Dwert performed admirably. Harden cheered on his teammates knowing that they now possessed confidence in themselves to take it to the next level. More importantly he learned that he could trust these headband of brothers to have his back and carry him when he needs it. It was time to roll!

HARDEN: Those guys were right… this is like choke city. And that was our rally game Agent Dream!

AGENT DREAM: You still need to fo-cass… only then can you be unbeatable!

Iron_Man_Leviathan

IRON A-3-Za: Time to take this fight back home!

The heroes return to Houston for an epic Game 7 showdown!

To be continued…

Fact – That was one of the greatest comebacks in Rockets playoff history!

Guys… that was insane! I still cannot believe it. Houston, we get another go at these guys on our home floor! Lets Go! Follow us at @vividkaret for updates on our latest blogs, and you can follow me at @facethefacts22. Until next time, when in doubt, Beat LA!

josh-smith-houston-rockets-los-angeles-clippers-2015-nba-playoffs

May 4, 2015

Face The Facts – Episode 26: Houston Rocket Raccoon III

guardians_of_the_galaxy Fact: This series will be more entertaining than “the fight of our generation.”

You can read Houston Rocket Raccoon II here.

The Houston Rockets stormed into enemy territory, hoping to finish the war. The 3rd match was a spectacular offensive display by both teams. Having lost Parsons the Overpaid, Dirkula and the Mavericks responded with vengeance. He and Monta the Chucker led a furious attack.

However, they simply were not enough against Rocket Harden, who was in particularly splendid form. With help from Cormora, Smax, and all of his other teammates, Harden led the Rockets to a game 3 victory. Dwert did a number on Chandler the Disheartened, completely lighting up the boards.

 

b70713f8259092a9834101647f3dcf65

 

The Mavericks were able to rally and win game four, but they too would fall prey to statistics. Nobody wins down 3-0… and the Mavericks would soon meet their fate.

 

HARDEN: Let’s go!

DWERT: I am Dwert!

CORMORA: Well, I’m so fancy!

 

 

The Mavericks fell in game five. Dirkula and Monta the Chucker were out-matched. The Rockets were moving on!

CUBAN: I don’t get it… that’s not a very good team over there. How can this happen? We value chemistry! We took their best player!

STAR WOLF: Hey Cubes, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

 

 

Meanwhile, back at Rockets HQ, the Asset Collector admired his magnificent collection. Over the years, the Asset Collector had scoured the galaxy in search of hidden gems and undersized power forwards.

 

 

COLLECTOR: They mocked me, but its working… its finally working!

SMAX: That is a reasonable assessment.

 

 

COLLECTOR: YES! Oh my little assets, you of the efficiently high true shooting percentages!

HARDEN: Bro, take it easy… we’ve still got plenty of games to play.

And the Bearded One was correct… for lurking in the next round was another beast all together. These enemies were without shame, whiners of the highest caliber! They were the Clipauri, and they claimed to be the “digestive system of the playoffs.” They traveled from series to series destroying the will of their opponents with their non-stop complaining and embellishments.

 

The Houston Rockets take on the Clipauri in the Western Conference Semi-finals match up:

groot_and_rocket_raccoon-e1429296643958

Street-Fighter-Vs-Logo

Chitauri-aliens-avengers

 

Fact: People the read Vivid Karet love Derby Day.

So the big weekend has come on gone. The Kentucky Derby was a blast and the favorite going in, American Pharaoh, took home the gold. There was an epic game seven between the Spurs and Clippers. Lastly, there was The Fight…

Keep collecting those checks Manny. The favorite won that one as well. You did well in Vegas this weekend betting on the favorite.  I actually got to go to game 3 of the Rockets/Mavs series with my brothers, and it was pretty awesome to get the W. You can follow me as I root on the Rockets @facethefacts22. Until next time, when in doubt… Face the Facts!