Face The Facts – Episode 14: The Amazing Spandaman and the Pursuit of Freedom

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The Awesome Adventures of Spandaman – No. 2 – The Pursuit of Freedom

Since the last time we’ve seen our porous hero, he has been a most sedulous sponge. He returned home to help rebuild the once vibrant under water community from the rubble and destruction of the great meteor-ocalypse. Soon the entire sea floor was alive and well again, all thanks to our absorbent hero. Spandaman loved his home but he couldn’t help having this nagging feeling that there was more out there for him.

Life was nice and quiet, if not a touch boring. These days he found most sea sponges to be rather, well, dull. Take his cousin Bob, who is a great listener and always soaking in everything Spandaman had to say. Bob was short on words, making every conversation very one-sided. Spandaman felt alone in this deafening silence, unable to relate to any one of his sponge brothers and sisters. One day he decided to leave his podospongiidae family and go on an awesome adventure.

 

 

He wandered the depths of the ocean trying to find meaning to his unique existence. Spandaman just flowed wherever the current took him. He went shell surfing on some sea turtles. He went spelunking with some angler fish. His adventures took him all over the ocean and our carrot-colored hero loved it. However, the feeling that there was more to his life kept nagging him.

Through out his underwater walk-about, he longed to go up to the surface. To be free to go and explore all over the planet… how amazing would that be? He just needed something to get him up to the surface; sponges were designed to be immobile and even with limbs he couldn’t make it. He began to sing out his feelings:

Spandaman: I want to be where the people are… I want to see… wanna see them dancing!

Random Red Crab: *Jamaican accent* Up where they walk? Up where they run? Up where they stay all day in the sun?

Spandaman: Wanderin’ free… wish I could be… part of that world!

Thoughts of reaching the surface seemed to dominate his mind, and Spandaman did all he could to distract himself, knowing it was impossible. One day he was painting with some octopi when he saw a gang of sharks attack an innocent school of fish. He rushed in to help but was knocked aside by the leader of the pack, Doug McSharkmott.

Doug: Why don’t you make like a tree and go stupid sponge!

The fury of righteousness began to consume Spandaman. He felt justice flow through his radioactive molecules and he expanded his arm to three times its normal size and charged at the sharks.

Spandaman: SPANDA-SMASH!

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He knocked Doug down to the sea floor with a booming punch, but his brash fighting style left him vulnerable to other attacks. Naturally pervious, he was soon surrounded by his selachimorpha assailants.

Sharks: Give it up you silly sponge… prepare to be lunch!

Suddenly, a group of Samurai Shrimp charged forward and surprised attacked the shark gang. Armed with their deadly Cortanas (coral-made katanas), they sent the sharks scrambling after a flurry of furious tail flips. When the water calmed, the Samurai Shrimp checked on Spandaman.

Impressed by his bravery they decided to take him in. Their leader, Master Flipachu, wanted to teach Spandaman the ways of the Samurai. It was obvious this stupendous sponge was courageous… what he lacked was training and discipline.

 

 

With proper Samurai training, Master Flipachu believed Spandaman could be something great… a Hero! Everyday for a year, Spandaman would wake up and soak in all the knowledge that the Samurai Shrimps would bestow on him. He slowly learned to master and control his expansive powers.

In his free time he would read archived decapoda military maunscripts, absorbing the different combat strategies and fighting techniques. One day, Master Flipachu decided Spandaman was ready for the final lesson. He would learn the ancient deadly art of Jigen Ryu (The Fatal Strike).

Master Flipachu: My son, what I am about to teach you is an ancient tradition past down from many generations of shellfish. You must use this technique wisely!

Spandaman:  Bring it on Master! Training Montage

 

My Note, page 35

 

Master Flipachu: Spandaman, you are a most excellent student. I believe you have learned all you can from us. It is time for you to go, ronin.

Spandaman: But Master, I don’t know what to do now.

Master Flipachu: What is it you seek most?

Spandaman: I guess reaching the surface…

Master Flipachu: Why is that?

Spandaman: Because I guess I feel trapped down here…

Master Flipachu: Then you must go and pursue your freedom, my son.

Spandaman: But… how do I do that? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life? Do I get to keep this cortana?

Master Flipachu: You must travel your own path… protect and defend the defenseless… to love and be loved… No, swords are kind of hard to draw…

Spandaman realized now what he must do. He must reach the surface. He bid farewell to the Samurai Shrimps and left to continue on his awesome adventure. He was journeying across the beautiful sea-side, when he happened upon a sunken ship.

He decided to go investigate.

Underwater-World-1-1

Spandaman walked up to the ship and went to go look inside.

It was a massive ship with many different hallways and rooms to explore.

He walked around the expansive layout for what seemed like hours.

Suddenly he found a room with a chest!

He couldn’t believe what was in the treasure chest. It was a high-powered Spanda-Board!  What is a Spanda-Board?

It is a hover-board with about 3 times the awesome and it travels at extra fast speed. Spandaman reached in:

Spandaman recieved a Spanda-Board!

 

With the Spanda-Board, Spandaman could finally reach the surface. With the Spanda-Board, Spandaman could finally be free!

Spandaman: FREEDOM!

What will Spandaman do now that he has the Spanda-Board? Be sure to tune in to future installments of Face The Facts for the next The Awesome Adventures of…

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Fact- There are approximately 23.2 million veterans in the United States. Here at FTF, we would like to personally thank each and every one of you for protecting our freedom.

Vivid Karet salutes all of those who serve and have served our awesome country. Our prayers go out to the men and women overseas who continue to protect our freedom. Spandaman is just a comic hero… but you guys are the true heroes.

Happy Veterans Day!

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