Archive for November, 2014

November 29, 2014

Adventures in learning to sew

After watching too much Project Runway, I decided to learn how to sew this week.  My goal is to make clothes that are nice and long because I rarely fit into store-bought clothes, especially dresses.

I ordered a Brother sewing machine from Amazon because I have a Bother printer that has held up for several years.  It came the next day (love Prime!), and in the meantime, I had watched several videos to get myself up to speed.

This one was helpful in getting me started, having never used a sewing machine before:

This one covers all the basics and was helpful in realizing that I didn’t need a pattern to start:

I started by tracing a sweater that I particularly like, and I just followed the steps in Meesha’s video.  I used jersey fabric because I figured it could stretch if it wasn’t totally tailored.  It came out a little wobbly, but wearable, at least at home or on my motorcycle.    The sleeves are super super long.

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Encouraged by this relative success, I made another trip to the fabric store, where I discovered the sale rack.  I got some black fabric for $2.99/yard.  For this one, I lay a sweater and a pencil skirt on top of the fabric (all folded in half) and cut around it.  The result was this dress (also a little wobbly but ok).

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My next goal will be to learn something new, perhaps like how to sew in a zipper or do a kick pleat.

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November 26, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 15: Where in the World is Kathulhu Winnebago?

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Fact- No one has ever thought to check R’lyeh…. MADNESS!

For the poor souls that don’t even know. 

Well she sneaks around the world from District 2 to Cantina,
She’s a a big and scary monster that gets Hungary and eats cheese,
She’ll take you for a ride on a Honda to Krajina,
Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

 

 

 

 

She was a Program Manager, until she switched Koreas,
People think she’s good at hiding, but the truth is she gets Laos,
Well the next time she goes Down Under, we must try to stop the plunder,
Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

 

 

 

 

She’ll go from Houston to Holland, Moscow to Montana,
Key West to Antigua/Barbuda and back!

 

 

 

 

Kenya believe her bellows cause tsunamis, she smells Azerbaijani,
She has to wear that bright red trench coat because she looks like this,

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She’s an evil freakish facinorous fiend and she’s Ghana photobomb ya,
Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

 

 

 

Oh tell me where in the world is… Oh tell me where can she be?
Ooh, Vietnam to Finland, Poland to Tokyo,
Naples to Naples, Brazil, muy facil…!

 

 

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Well she terrorizes children with her hideous expressions,
She’s a high-pitched hollering heathen with a taste for lots of cheese,
Her schedule book is booked up with being an abomination,
Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

 

 

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Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

Tell me where in the world is Kathulhu Winnebago?

(Repeat x9)

Fact- People that read VividKaret.com don’t need to listen to Scar because they are always prepared.

If you haven’t already, follow @VividKaret on twitter to get updates on our latest blog posts. You can follow me @facethefacts22. @klar21 and I will be coming out with a Bro-est Bros You Knows soon, so stay tuned. I know many of you are traveling for Thanksgiving, please be safe and stay warm. I know I will be having an awesome time hanging out with my wife and vid Ka.

So go spend time with loved ones, eat some yummy foods and watch some football. Remember to also take a moment for reflection and think about all the people that you are thankful for. Fact, showing gratitude has been shown to increase serotonin. So go ahead and tell the ones you love how much you are thankful for them, it will make their day and you get to float on some of that natural high before crashing down from that gluttony we will all partake in.

 

 

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November 21, 2014

Your Friday Jam: Ooga Chacka

Before you start complaining, I know this movie came out months ago (and the music decades ago), but the soundtrack just fit the film so perfectly  that I’ve been listening to it at least once a week pretty much since the move was released.    Besides, who doesn’t love some feel good jams set to a feel-good movie?  What are you, a Communist?  Or just a bunch of a-holes?

Guardians of the Galaxy will be out out on Blu-ray (and DVD for you Neanderthals) on December 9, so practice those dance moves in case you need to save the galaxy.

Ooga chacka, ooga ooga, ooga chacka…

November 14, 2014

Your Friday Jam: Hozier

This weekend’s jam comes from Andrew Hozier-Byrne, a young musician born and raised in County Wicklow, Ireland.  You’re probably seen the Beats by Dre commercial with LeBron James featuring the lead single off of his first album Hozier (which also happened to be the lead single off of his first EP Take Me To Church in 2013).  Thankfully Beats chose this young man to be the sound of their latest campaign – if they hadn’t many people would have never discovered his music.

Today, however, you’re getting my personal favorite track off of Hozier’s debut album, It Will Come Back.  The bluesy-rock sound reverberating from this song, and honestly the whole album, is hauntingly beautiful.  Hozier seems to hearken back to the great American singer song writers of the 20th century and seems to encapsulate the sound of Americana.  Such natural talent is truly a breath of fresh air during this time of over-processed popular “music”.

November 11, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 14: The Amazing Spandaman and the Pursuit of Freedom

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The Awesome Adventures of Spandaman – No. 2 – The Pursuit of Freedom

Since the last time we’ve seen our porous hero, he has been a most sedulous sponge. He returned home to help rebuild the once vibrant under water community from the rubble and destruction of the great meteor-ocalypse. Soon the entire sea floor was alive and well again, all thanks to our absorbent hero. Spandaman loved his home but he couldn’t help having this nagging feeling that there was more out there for him.

Life was nice and quiet, if not a touch boring. These days he found most sea sponges to be rather, well, dull. Take his cousin Bob, who is a great listener and always soaking in everything Spandaman had to say. Bob was short on words, making every conversation very one-sided. Spandaman felt alone in this deafening silence, unable to relate to any one of his sponge brothers and sisters. One day he decided to leave his podospongiidae family and go on an awesome adventure.

 

 

He wandered the depths of the ocean trying to find meaning to his unique existence. Spandaman just flowed wherever the current took him. He went shell surfing on some sea turtles. He went spelunking with some angler fish. His adventures took him all over the ocean and our carrot-colored hero loved it. However, the feeling that there was more to his life kept nagging him.

Through out his underwater walk-about, he longed to go up to the surface. To be free to go and explore all over the planet… how amazing would that be? He just needed something to get him up to the surface; sponges were designed to be immobile and even with limbs he couldn’t make it. He began to sing out his feelings:

Spandaman: I want to be where the people are… I want to see… wanna see them dancing!

Random Red Crab: *Jamaican accent* Up where they walk? Up where they run? Up where they stay all day in the sun?

Spandaman: Wanderin’ free… wish I could be… part of that world!

Thoughts of reaching the surface seemed to dominate his mind, and Spandaman did all he could to distract himself, knowing it was impossible. One day he was painting with some octopi when he saw a gang of sharks attack an innocent school of fish. He rushed in to help but was knocked aside by the leader of the pack, Doug McSharkmott.

Doug: Why don’t you make like a tree and go stupid sponge!

The fury of righteousness began to consume Spandaman. He felt justice flow through his radioactive molecules and he expanded his arm to three times its normal size and charged at the sharks.

Spandaman: SPANDA-SMASH!

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He knocked Doug down to the sea floor with a booming punch, but his brash fighting style left him vulnerable to other attacks. Naturally pervious, he was soon surrounded by his selachimorpha assailants.

Sharks: Give it up you silly sponge… prepare to be lunch!

Suddenly, a group of Samurai Shrimp charged forward and surprised attacked the shark gang. Armed with their deadly Cortanas (coral-made katanas), they sent the sharks scrambling after a flurry of furious tail flips. When the water calmed, the Samurai Shrimp checked on Spandaman.

Impressed by his bravery they decided to take him in. Their leader, Master Flipachu, wanted to teach Spandaman the ways of the Samurai. It was obvious this stupendous sponge was courageous… what he lacked was training and discipline.

 

 

With proper Samurai training, Master Flipachu believed Spandaman could be something great… a Hero! Everyday for a year, Spandaman would wake up and soak in all the knowledge that the Samurai Shrimps would bestow on him. He slowly learned to master and control his expansive powers.

In his free time he would read archived decapoda military maunscripts, absorbing the different combat strategies and fighting techniques. One day, Master Flipachu decided Spandaman was ready for the final lesson. He would learn the ancient deadly art of Jigen Ryu (The Fatal Strike).

Master Flipachu: My son, what I am about to teach you is an ancient tradition past down from many generations of shellfish. You must use this technique wisely!

Spandaman:  Bring it on Master! Training Montage

 

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Master Flipachu: Spandaman, you are a most excellent student. I believe you have learned all you can from us. It is time for you to go, ronin.

Spandaman: But Master, I don’t know what to do now.

Master Flipachu: What is it you seek most?

Spandaman: I guess reaching the surface…

Master Flipachu: Why is that?

Spandaman: Because I guess I feel trapped down here…

Master Flipachu: Then you must go and pursue your freedom, my son.

Spandaman: But… how do I do that? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life? Do I get to keep this cortana?

Master Flipachu: You must travel your own path… protect and defend the defenseless… to love and be loved… No, swords are kind of hard to draw…

Spandaman realized now what he must do. He must reach the surface. He bid farewell to the Samurai Shrimps and left to continue on his awesome adventure. He was journeying across the beautiful sea-side, when he happened upon a sunken ship.

He decided to go investigate.

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Spandaman walked up to the ship and went to go look inside.

It was a massive ship with many different hallways and rooms to explore.

He walked around the expansive layout for what seemed like hours.

Suddenly he found a room with a chest!

He couldn’t believe what was in the treasure chest. It was a high-powered Spanda-Board!  What is a Spanda-Board?

It is a hover-board with about 3 times the awesome and it travels at extra fast speed. Spandaman reached in:

Spandaman recieved a Spanda-Board!

 

With the Spanda-Board, Spandaman could finally reach the surface. With the Spanda-Board, Spandaman could finally be free!

Spandaman: FREEDOM!

What will Spandaman do now that he has the Spanda-Board? Be sure to tune in to future installments of Face The Facts for the next The Awesome Adventures of…

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Fact- There are approximately 23.2 million veterans in the United States. Here at FTF, we would like to personally thank each and every one of you for protecting our freedom.

Vivid Karet salutes all of those who serve and have served our awesome country. Our prayers go out to the men and women overseas who continue to protect our freedom. Spandaman is just a comic hero… but you guys are the true heroes.

Happy Veterans Day!

November 7, 2014

Your Friday Jam: Got it?

Just a cursory glance at my past posts will reveal that I am a huge fan of The Departed – the ultimate sound of red dirt country.  Cody Canada and Jeremy Plato of Cross Canadian Ragweed fame have refined their sound to include more of a bluesy rock sound than the older CCR albums, and it works wonders. Anytime Plato’s slapping the bass I’ll be listening.

Their newest album HippieLovePunk releases on January 7, but pre-orders are available here.  In the meantime enjoy the gritty “Got It”, track 6 from the upcoming album.

November 4, 2014

Face The Facts – Episode 13: Hadouken II (The Legend of Ryu and Ken’s Bromance)

Fact – Ryu and Ken’s relationship is based almost completely on my friendship with Klar.

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While Mario and Luigi were the original video-gaming bros, it was Ryu and Ken that had video-gaming’s first true bromance. Way before Jersey Shore, these guys were repping the Original “G/T/L”  –  Gi/train/leg-kicks! These guys were always working out and sparring with each other. They trained so much together, in fact, that they literally have the same moves… tornado kicks, dragon punches, and their famous down-forward-punch fireball! They both could do that… and I guess mutha-freakin’ Dhalsim and his “yoga-fire” and “yoga-flame.” More like yoga-same move you dummy. Hey Dhalsim, why don’t you yoga-shutdahellup!

Ken even says all of his moves in Japanese just like Ryu. Ken, bro, did you notice the other American in the tournament proudly says all of his moves in English? Guile actually called him out on this:

Guile: Brah, did you forget what freedom sounded like?

Ken: No!

Guile: Must be hard to hear over those girlish golden locks.

Ken: …

Guile: (Sonic) Boom Roasted! (Combs hair and flexes)

 

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Yes, when it comes to the BFF hall of fame, Ken and Ryu may be among the most distinguished honorees. It took twice as much bronze to properly craft theirs busts. Bros and gamers alike, we salute you, Ken and Ryu. Surely your bromance is the gold standard the rest of us can only hope to achieve.

As awesome as Ken and Ryu’s story is, it is actually based on another bromance. The story goes like this… Capcom executives were running out of ideas to sell Street Fighter II. They had a board meeting that went something like:

Capcom executive one: How are we going to sell SFII? We don’t really have any precedent for successful fighting games like this.

Capcom executive two: Maybe we should have stuck with the formula of the first one.

Capcom executive three: Yeah… creative really got lazy with this game. We have an African American boxer named “M. Bison.” And, do we really have a character that got his powers from wrestling electric eels?

Capcom executive one: Plus Dhalsim sucks. We need to yoga-fire whoever came up with him.

Everyone: *le sigh… muthafreakin’ Dhalsim

Capcom executive two: Why don’t we use that time traveling machine we built to work on Project Viewtiful Joe?

Capcom executive one: Brilliant, Number 2! We can travel into the future and get inspiration for our game. That way in the future they won’t think we stole any ideas; they will think we inspired them!

Capcom executive three: That is just like this script I have been writing for my screenplay, Inception, where people in the future plant ideas in someone else’s mind while they…

Everyone: Shut up about your stupid script, Number 3!

They decided the best inspiration would come from a great academic institution in the future. So a group of Capcom executives traveled into the distant future, the year 2004, and headed to the greatest school that is… the University of Design. There was a social gathering for orientation week at a campus hot spot called the “Rathskellar.” They walked in and saw an Asian bro sitting at one of the tables, eating his post-workout meal.

 

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A brah walked in and sat down at the same table. The Asian bro asked if the brah had keys to get into a secured building called “Madonna.” The brah leapt to his feet and flipped the table over.

 

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Brah: One does not simply gain passage into Madonna. It must be earned through the crucible of fire!

Asian Bro: Ah Snapsel-Cakes!?

The Asian bro was upset that his rice bowl had been knocked over. He decided to insult this brah by calling him Ken, because Bens tend to suck,9617-honda2(Benjamin Glutton #amirite) and it rhymed. Asian bro just really appreciates a good rhyme.

 

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Asian Bro: Hey Ken, you spilled my rice, prepare to die.

Brah: Why you stupi…

Asian Bro: Did you call me Ryu?! As in Ryu Hayabusa the Ninja from the land of Gaiden?

Brah: No… I said why you…

Asian Bro: You totally did again! You said “Ryu.” Your insults are as bad as your hairstyle! ShadaBOO-YAH!

They prepared for their showdown. First they stopped by the Airport to purchase tickets all around the world. They created a chart to track all the different locations their epic fight might take them. They were going to go on a lethal adventure!

 

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Inspired by Lonely Islands’ “I’m on a Boat,” they decided to square off at the docks. Looking over at the boats, Ryu thought to himself that maybe he would buy a yacht someday and sail with a BFF to Australia or something…

 

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Unbeknownst to Ken and Ryu, the Capcom executives 16-bit-tized them using their Project Viewtiful Joe machine.

 

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Random amped up music started to play in the background. They stood there, glaring at each other… daring their opponent to make a move. Ken, using his Masters in tornado kicking, struck first blood!

 

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Ryu quickly got on an airplane and flew to Brazil. He shot a fireball at Ken that Ken evaded. From there, their epic battle would span the planet. Words will never be able to do this battle justice, consider this a tribute to the SECOND GREATEST BATTLE IN THE WORLD!

 

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It was like anything Ry-U can do, I Ken do better. The battle viscously raged on for a very long time, both fighters consuming plenty of protein shakes to regenerate their life bars.

 

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It was a brilliant display of talent and skill. The stages and costume changes, this fight will be forever under-sold. As they fought they began to grow a mutual respect for each other. Ryu thought to himself that maybe he and Ken had a lot in common. After all, they were both wearing a sleeve-less Gi underneath their clothes during orientation week… it seemed quite bro-vidential.

Ryu: You are really good, perhaps when this is over, we might train together at the UD gym. *jab*

Ken: Maybe we might even be roommates…purely for training purposes of course. *high kick*

 

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Ryu: Yeah okay… I mean my roommate kind of sucks. Took my keys… that’s why I can’t get into the Madonna building. *block*

Ken: Dude… my roommate totally blows chunks too! *tornado kick*

Ryu: I wonder what else we have in common… what is your favorite movie? *block* *block* block*

Ken/Ryu: Rocky!

Ken: Wow! What about second favorite movie? *fireball*

Ken/Ryu: Braveheart!

Ryu: What is your favorite band? *duck*

Ken/Ryu: Linkin Park!

 

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Ryu: Shar-yu-KIDDING me! Everything you just said is my favorite thing! What do you like to eat when you are intoxicated at 12 AM? *dragon punch*

Ken: Tacos… What is your favorite sport? *stars spinning above head*

Ryu: Basketball! Who is the best big man to play in the NBA ever? *jumps forward*

Ken: David Robinson! *recovers*

 

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Suddenly, Ryu felt a surge of rage. It was like raw energy coursed through his veins. Ryu began to channel his inner Satsui no Hadō

 

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Ryu: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

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Ryu: KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!

 

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Ryu: OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJUWON! *shinku fireball*

 

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When the evil presense left his body, Ryu realized that the fight was over. After a long and pec-tacular battle, Ryu had defeated Ken. He won!

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He looked at his fallen opponent and felt almost remorseful. David Robinson was pretty flippin’ good. It’s not like Ken had said Karl Malone or something.  Even more importantly, no one had ever pushed Ryu to his limits like that before. Truly it was a battle between #warriorsthatareawesome. Ryu went over and helped Ken up.

 

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They went headed back to the Rathskellar at UD and decided to watch the rest of the orientation show together.

Ryu: Let’s go back to our original names.

Klar (pronounced like Claire): I agree, I hated even having a name that rhymed with Ben…

Me: I know right! They always suck.

Klar: Like Ben Rothlisberger… that guy sucks. He will never win a Superbowl or break a two game touchdown record or something like that.

Me: Totes!

So this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, and thanks for taking a minute and just sitting right there, reading about how I became best friends with Klar. Capcom used our story to go back and completely re-write Street Fighter II as a bromance between Ryu and Ken.

We are honored to have one of the greatest bromances based off of us. Did you know that originally, the game was going to feature Dhalsim… just kidding. Hey Dhalsim, you need to face the facts bro, it is a yoga-shame that you were in the yoga-game.

Klar/Ryu: Best friends forever!

Guile:  My theme song!

 

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A New Challenger Approaches…
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Fact – People that read Vivid Karet.com vote!

Go out and vote people, it is your democratic duty. If you haven’t already, check out all the different content we have up on VividKaret.com. You can follow me on twitter @facethefacts22. @klar21 and I will be doing another Bro-est Bros You Knows pretty soon, so keep an eye out for that. Until next time, when in doubt… Face The Facts! Go vote.

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