Face the Facts – Episode 4: Make Him Feel The Pain!

Face The Facts

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Welcome to another addition of FTF, my bro-dacious blog on the wonderful and irrelevant. So it has been awhile, and I am sure many of you are wondering how things are going in La Casa de Vivid. Things are going splendidly. I have been married over a year now to the beautiful Zanahoria, and while I don’t show it enough, I love her very much and am so happy. I am constantly amazed by her and I am thoroughly humbled at the thought of how much patience she must possess to deal with me.

Living in DC has been a blast. I find myself thinking of this city as home now. When we leave this will have been a very special and memorable stop in our lives. My flatmate and Chtulhu have done an excellent job completing the quadrangle of power (TMed by Zanahoria). They hold a very unique place in the hearts of my wife and I. As I have started to adopt this city as my new home, I too have started to view my flat-mate and his rice-rocket-racing-demon-troll of a wife, as family.  They are about as kind and respectful as flatmates get and they get down 90’s style just about as well as anybody short of…

Fact- The brain, which serves as the interpreter of pain for the body’s pain sensitive nerve tissues, itself cannot experience the pain as it is the only part of the body without these nerves. 

The “feel the pain” is an homage to my awesome (and sometimes oddly sadistic) dad. A few years ago when I was in law school in Florida, my family came down to visit during the holidays. Naturally (as people tend to do in Florida) we went to the beach where my brothers and Zanahoria decided to bury me in the sand. Before long I was basically entombed in the sand with only my head free. It was all fun and games until my dad walked over, balled a large clump of wet sand, picked it up, and proceeded to drop it with gravitational might… on my privates. As he did this, he yelled out “make him feel the pain!” He couldn’t stop chuckling after that, he was practically  giddy with evil. So my dad can bring the pain.

As they say, like father-in-law like daughter-in-law. So everyone knows my wife is a super ninja warrior princess. She has  a battle cry like Xena and her approach to fighting is Lawless. A while back, inspired by my viewing of the movie Warrior (I have a review of the movie further down in the blog), I decided I needed to teach my wife a little mma in case some one was stupid enough to mug her. We do live in the city, and in the city one faces inner city pressure. So I gave her some boxing gloves and I put on mitts to teach her some basic punches. She started punching me and not the mitts.

After recovering from the kidney shots, I told her she should take it easy and just try and hit the mits. She scoffed at me and replied that if she was going to learn to fight she might as well learn to hit some one instead of giving them really accurate “fist bumps.” So I decided to switch gears and offered to teach her some jiujitsu. She was having none of it, she wanted to drop some Z-Bombs. I told her that she needed a foundation before she threw haymakers. She said fine, “teach me the basics and I’ll fill in the bleeders.” Yeah… she said that. So if someone ever decides to attack my wife, you are going to end up like this guy:

 

Filling in the bleeders

Filling in the bleeders

 

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Zanahoria happened, bro

 

Fact – Tom Hardy actually weighed less in The Dark Knight Rises as Bane than he was as Tommy in Warrior (movie review #spoilers)

First of all, I nominate this movie for guy’s night. Yeah, I like it that much. The movie is about two brothers, one is a marine and the other brother is a science teacher, dealing with their emotions through mma. They train to compete in a grand prix style tournament that features the best mma fighters in the world. So naturally these two guys get in, because there are only like a handful of fighters in the entire freaking world. I mean, this is a world that references the UFC and Strikeforce! Was George St. Piere and Chael Sonnen just on vacation? Was Jon Jones ducking another fight? Where was Anthony Johnson? Surely he has a lot of free time after being dismissed from the UFC. Wait… he was in the movie.

Anyways, as one would expect from an M Night Shyamalan movie, there is a twist (spoiler alert) and the brothers meet up in the finals. Except that that really isn’t a twist and I’m pretty sure the trailers all show the brothers touching gloves while the commentator says “you won’t believe this… but the men fighting in the finals are brothers!” Twist! The announcer isn’t talking about siblings; he was just stunned that two black guys made it to the finals when only one black guy had entered the tournament (Anthony Johnson). Oh, and the movie was awesome and not in 3d, so yeah it was obviously not a Shyamalan movie.

 

warrior

 

Review: This was a solid film that for better or worse, drew comparisons to Rocky. One of the greatest disservices to future movie watchers is how much of a caricature Rocky has become in today’s culture. The six sequels, the cartoonish portrayal of the rival boxers, the six pack Sly hopped up on HGH, and the inclusion of 80’s music later on in the series has led to a self over-saturation, causing many to stick Rocky in the notorious “fun” guy movie genre.  Guys, it wasn’t a great film because of the egg drinking and the over the top training montages, that was only 99%.

At the core of the OG Rocky was the very essence of the American dream. Here was a guy, down on his luck, and all he had was the love of a woman, his faith in God, and his ability to work harder than the next guy. His success encapsulated everything a hard working American believed in, that in this country, anyone has the potential to be great; you just need faith and a can-do spirit. That classic and iconic movie, the movie that won best picture, is the caliber of film I believe more closely resembles Warrior.

Warrior

The two protagonist in Warrior are estranged brothers. Tommy is an intense ex-marine bad-ass and Brendan is a good-natured but down-on-his-luck science teacher. Brendan also happens to have had a brief career in the UFC. Both are equally appealing to the audience due to the solid performances put in by the actors. Each has his own reason’s for fighting, and the movie does a good job of balancing the characters and making it hard to root for one over the other.

The film’s first two acts do a good enough job of filling in the characters back stories while moving the story forward, though there may be some cliché moments involved in these acts including it’s very own training montage. The last act, which centers around the big Sparta tournament, may be some of the most adrenaline pumping fun I have had at the movies. It was a rolling crescendo of violence; a brutally realistic representation of mixed martial arts fighting.

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This wasn’t just a movie that reminded us of how hard it is sometimes to make it day in and day out with so much uncertainty in the world,  this was a movie that took you through the hardship and let you celebrate in the triumph. I’m not saying this was a movie that got me out of my seats cheering, but that is because I have the common decency not to stand up and block the view of the person behind me.  The movie served as a communal cathartic release for an audience that most likely empathized with the hardship of a tough economy and the underdog mentality that comes with it. Many relate to the pain that grudges can cause, not just to the person but their family. To that end, there is a mix of appreciation and recoil at how powerfully this movie captures the struggles of the human experience.

I went to an undergraduate university that had a great books program. I had a professor, Dr. Dougherty, that would say that many other schools questioned why we read the same old classics over and over. He posited that we do it because there is something there that makes it a classic, a message or a lesson that is timeless and is as important and relevant today as it was back then. So there may be a few complaints about this movie rehashing some of the same “redemption” movie tropes and sport clichés . You may feel that way while you watch it; but when it is over, you may be thinking you have just watched a classic.

5 out of 5 Vivid Karets:

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Fact – Tom Hardy’s fight scenes were generally short because of his limited knowledge of mma.

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Fact – They were originally planning to CGI Bane’s physique, but decided it would be more realistic if he looked strong but not bodybuilder strong. Criminal masterminds plotting terrorist attacks have limited time to lift and plan their diet.

Fact – Dennis Rodman didn’t play a second of high school basketball, and was only 5’11” when he graduated.  He grew eight more inches by the time he was twenty, at which point he quit his job as a janitor at the DFW airport to play basketball at Cooke County Junior College.

So the NBA trade deadline past with very little movement. Players that were rumored to be on the move (Josh Smith/Al Jefferson/Marcin Gortat) stayed put. The teams that were suppose to be active (Jazz/Hawks/Nets) didn’t do anything. The Bucks acquired another short shooter in JJ Reddick, and the Suns united twin brothers Markeiff Morris and Marcus Morris. BTW, Zanahoria pointed out that if Markeiff ever stinks in a game you can always say “Markieff, more like Marqueef!” (she’s so funny).

The biggest move at the dead line involved my Houston Rockets trading Patrick Patterson, Cole Aldrich, and Tony Douglass for Thomas Robinson, Francisco Garcia and Tyler Honeycutt. Here is what the sport’s media had to say about the trade:

What do you think of Houston fleecing Sacramento for Thomas Robinson? Why do teams continue to trade with Dork Elvis? Everyone, STOP TRADING WITH DORK ELVIS!!!!! -Bill Simmons *Dork Elvis refers to Rockets GM Daryl Morey’s

That was a shocker. The highest-value player here is obviously Robinson. – Zack Lowe

Rockets definitely win this trade, Robinson helps their rebounding and defense now. – David Aldridge

So yeah it was nice trade for the Rockets. It gives the team more financial flexibility moving forward. Patrick Patterson was on a rookie contract with his option coming up (he has earned a bigger payday) and Thomas Robinson still has up to 5 years on a rookie salary. The rookie salary is the most valuable commodity on an NBA team. This is because it is fixed salary based on the CBA, not a percentage of the cap based on the free market.

Because basketball is a young man’s game, many skilled rookies can come in and contribute like a veteran by their 2nd and 3rd year. That sort of production could warrant a salary three times as much once the rookie contract ends. Now the Rockets can sign a max player, have money for extra depth, and they have another draft pick. Watch the Rockets make a hard run for Dwight Howard during the summer. While they didn’t improve their chances at a playoff push this season, they have a very bright future.

Speaking of the Rockets, my buddy Klar hooked me up with tickets to go see the Rockets play the Wizards last weekend. This was double the awesome because I get to watch the Rockets and I get a chance at personal redemption. What do I mean by redemption? Well a year ago, we went to a Knicks/Wizards game pre-Linsanity. I may have been the only person in the building that knew who Jeremy Lin was. When he left the court to walk back to the locker room I stood at the railing to say hello and get a high five. IGNORED!!! Like flat out “I won’t even acknowledge your existence” ignored. I went to a GSP dark place in my head after that. Fast forward a year later and I finally get a chance to totally redeem myself. I will not be ignored:

Oh wellos…there is always next year. So he was probably just afraid of making his bestie Channy P jealous, right? Channy P gives a very interesting handshake BTW.

Fact – Research shows guys with best friends live longer

To all the bros out there and their bromantic endeavors, I present to you the second best bromance (behind UD besties 2008) Jeremy Lin and Chandler Parson:

Fact – Reading VividKaret.com blogs makes you a cooler person

Tune in to the next Face The Facts where FTF will look at the future of gaming. Be sure to check all the new fresh blogs up on VividKaret.com. Follow VivdKaret on twitter @VividKaret #quadrangleofpower and follow Face The Facts @facethefacts22 #thingsthatareawesome. Quick shout out to the guys that are having a bachelor party at Casa de Vivid. Tonight will be fun but it is nothing compared to finding the one you love and spending the rest of your life with them. Truly, congratulations!

Peace Outside

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