Spider Bro

So one day I came home and there was a spider on my floor. I was about to squish him and he was like “No! Bro!” I didn’t squish him, and instead cooked a delicious dinner because I had this hot girl coming over. We were sitting down to eat, and a cockroach ran across the floor. I was like “Oh no, now she’s going to think I’m messy!” When all of a sudden out of nowhere comes SPIDER BRO. He took that cockroach down and dragged it off behind the refrigerator, and my date went off without a hitch.

My apartment was amazingly bug-free for quite a while. I had many bodacious dates.

Then one day I came home and spider bro was curled up and crispy. I took him outside and buried him, and had my landlord spray for bugs. I decided I should do some cleaning and got behind the refrigerator. There was a huge pile of bugs. Spider Bro had been saving my butt the entire time, helping me keep my apartment nice and neat.

I tell this story so that maybe you’ll think again about squishing your spider bros.


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